I Fucking Quit!

For years all I would ever do, is go to the diner. The diner was the best place at night, a place you can go and just get away, relax. One particular evening, me and my boy MCizzle, decided to go to our favorite diner. The diner was our favorite because we knew all the people that worked there. We would get free food and soda, almost every night we went.

You already know the story we go to diners when we fail at picking up girls earlier that evening.

At the time, a large woman was waitressing there almost every night. She was the best waitress we had! She always got the food right, and she kept our drinks full! That Fat girl could move! I am telling you! She was all over that diner, like a rat on cheese!

Her co-worker (Bus Boy) was a good guy, too. I don’t think he had any mental issues, but he definitely had a screw loose. He was always talking about the gothic clubs, and the girls there. MCizzle and I knew this man couldn’t get any of those girls because he had a huge walking problem. He had this limp that just made him look like he had a fake leg!

Well we walk into our favorite place and we see (Bus Boy) and his gimpy leg walk right into a bus cart. The cart fell on him, throwing him to the ground, and the silverware went everywhere. He had some trouble getting up, but I couldn’t come over to help, because I was laughing so hard.

After a while, I was able to calm down and I began walking to my seat. On the way as I passed through the mess, I shouted. Nobody move; he’s gotta clean that up!

Finally, I was at my seat. I took my jacket off, sat down, only to hear my fat waitress scream…

I FUCKING QUIT!

and she stormed out of the diner!

I took some time to stop laughing. Threw my napkin down simultaneously with MCizzle and shouted I FUCKING QUIT, TOO! and we stormed out with her. you’re done, we’re done! Mcizzle said.

Don’t you go dying on me! I told her.

MCizzle let our fat waitress know “If you don’t own the place, we’re not coming back! and we rolled out. I asked, “Dude are we really not coming back? Fuck yeah we’re coming back, I was just being nice! he said.

A day later, I received a phone call from my fatty waitress. I’m manager! she told me. That night, MCizzle and I went back and enjoyed our coffee!  like the dude in the Big Lebowski says: I’m staying  enjoying my fucking coffee!

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