The Cum Muffin

What the Shit is that on my Muffin?

What the Shit is that on my Muffin?

Years and years ago, I was once in a band. Our name “Dead Unself.” No, not really, but that’s what I’m calling us for today’s story. We always jammed well into the evening working our hunger up. This usually caused us to head out to the Diner, and grab a bite to eat. The Diner had much better food then I could make at home, and there was always the off chance of meeting some lone chick at 12am.

Of course, it’s much easier hitting on the waitress then actually going over to another woman’s table and saying hello. So we usually hoped for the hottest waitress to stop by our table. That’s always when the interesting things began to happen: COCK BLOCKING! We would never admit it, and probably didn’t even realize we were doing it at the time, but all of us wanted the same chick and were all hard core out to win her over.

This is where the story begins… Continue reading

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Angels & Demons

Angels and Demons the first book written by Dan Brown followed by The Davinci Code, actually reversed the steps when brought into the theatre. The Davinci Code realeased in 2006 , had an extremely strong following but people walked away with problems: The movie was too long, It was slow, and way to hard to understand. Too much talking and not enough happening. These were the things I heard, and apparently so did director Ron Howard.  

Angels and Demons solved most of these problems by creating new ones. The good news is, the “new problem” are far less severe.   Continue reading

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Angels & Demons

Angels and Demons the first book written by Dan Brown followed by The Davinci Code, actually reversed the steps when brought into the theatre. The Davinci Code realeased in 2006 , had an extremely strong following but people walked away with problems: The movie was too long, It was slow, and way to hard to understand. Too much talking and not enough happening. These were the things I heard, and apparently so did director Ron Howard.  

Angels and Demons solved most of these problems by creating new ones. The good news is, the “new problem” are far less severe.   Continue reading

Terminator Salvation Review

 

Ill Be Back!

I'll Be Back!

Hello all, this is TrueStoryGuy here with his review on the lackluster smash “Terminator Salvation” aka “Terminator 4″. Now, before I go much further, I would rank the four movies as ordered:

Terminator 2

Terminator 1

Terminator 3

Terminator 4

Continue reading

Amazon Army Bitch

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Amazon Army Bitch

Amazon Army Bitch

The daily routine was pretty simple: Wake up, layout, work, party. This one particular night was extremely interesting and it begins with a back-story

I was working at “the pink hotel” which just so happened to be the most expensive hotel on the boardwalk. Being the most outspoken front deskman, I made a lot of friends with the guests. It wasn’t easy having a girlfriend in the summertime at the beach either. However, I was dating this extremely odd girl that I describe as a tree-hugging hippie. Except that’s more like what she wanted to be. One afternoon an extremely popular guest came in, driving his 1975 Convertible caddy with his ex-wife and girlfriend. For the remainder of the story I will refer to this man as “Rich Bitch Dude.” Continue reading

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The Secret – Page 14

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself,” she said to herself repeatedly. “That’s It!” She thought. “I am buying a scale and going on a diet today.” She drove to the nearby hardware store “Al’s Hardware” simple enough. She needed other items as well and Maddie liked hardware stress. All the gadgets and everything around.

Well, this was different. All of Al’s Hardware was it appeared to Maddie to be a little Wacko. “Hi, could you tell me where I could find a bathroom scale?” She inferred quietly. 
 
“What? A Scale!? For what would you need a scale miss? Your bathroom?” Said the Clerk

“Yes, Sir” She replied embarrassed. “You really wanna know how much you weigh, huh? Well none of my business , over at Aisle 3 you’ll find a few.”

Thank-god there was no one there she thought to herself knowing the customers would be giggling over his remarks. What in the hell was wrong with that man, she thought. She bought the scale and high tailed it out of there. “Come back soon, now!” Al shouted. She shocked Al and herself when she firmly replied, “Not if I can help it.” All in all it was a good day, she found a small general store and bought some groceries and such. 

Site News

I have noticed most of you are giving fake email addresses when becoming a member to the site.  Remember, I run the website and I am not going to over-run your email with “SHIT.” I promise you that.

One of the most annoying things in the world is junk mail.  I Do send out emails but very rarely, and only when you first sign up. This is to let you know how to use the website, and what the website is for.  So please, give me a real email address in-case I feel I should contact you for something.

Lastly, I want everyone to know

Now that Lost is over for the season, I will pick up reading stories and poems over the original “My Morning Story” feed.  If you have a story that you have written, on or off the website that you would like to be read on the podcast please let me know.

Thanks again

The Secret – Page 13

But they have great experience and knowledge and I know they will succeed. I gave them the discipline and the courage. “ I will continue here until I die and the customers show-up. The townspeople like it because there is no other place in town except the Deli and donut shop. The older people don’t want to drive to the next big town for a good meal. Lily had been a native Delawarean, growing up in South Wilmington, aka “Italian section.” This is when she learned to cook. Culinary school had nothing on Lily’s grandmother, who taught her most of what she knows.

The ladies made plans to meet on the weekend and Lily promised to show Maddie the town and the surrounding area. They would take a ride to Rehoboth and check out the resort town if “free”. Maddie thought “ I wonder if I can lose 100 Pounds by Saturday?” If not the buff and gorgeous lifeguards might blow their whistle and shout at the beach goers over their megaphone, “Whale on the Beach, everyone out of the water! Don’t go near the Whale! Everybody, STAY AWAY from the Whale!” Oh wait its just a big fat woman, go back in the water, but stay away from the fat lady!” Maddie had to laugh. She laughed so hard she cried, but then she realized that she really was crying. 

Pick up Dudes 101

Over the past two or three months we have been discussing; “how to pick up chicks.” This has spurred some requests for another topic, such as the one shown above. Women probably wont change their basic bar technique which includes the : playing with their hair, direct contact to a mans eyes, etc…

So today we are going to dive into 5 ways to keep a man.  First I want to say, This is going to be “EXTREMELY” generic – and this particular discussion will pertain solely to the beginning of a relationship.

I am confronted with women having problems all the time. Their man doesn’t call them back, they think its a big deal. He doesnt reply to a text message, they think its a big deal. etc… Continue reading

 Lost Season Finale

FINAL EPISODE!  What a crazy episode it was too. Took approximately 8 hours, and you better fucking enjoy it.  Women kept walking in on the podcast, Jlo-joe and Kdog Kevin had to share a Mike which wasn’t easy, and getting 18 clips is a lot of fucking work.  

On another note, I LOVED THE LAST EPISODE OF THE SEASON!!! And we cant wait to give you guys more stuff all over the summer.  Love it, keep coming to the forums! I know your out there!

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