A BB pellet

I will shoot your fucking Eye out

Sometimes, life just plain sucks. I mean, it sucks so bad that you just have to shoot something. Usually, however, that “something” isn’t yourself. And by “shooting” I mean with a BB Gun. And by “sucks” I mean “freaking hilarious”.

For some odd reason, me and my friend Jorge decided to take a BB Gun and destroy a piece of hardware equipment. I’ll admit, it called me names. Made fun of my mother — you know, all the bad stuff. It had to be destroyed. So, me and Jorge were on a quest for vengenance. And this vengenance is going to come to fruitation via BB Gun.

We hang it up against a branch in a tree and we took turns firing at it. Let me just say, that we destroyed this thing. You know. It did call my Mother “a dirty whore”. Yeah, it had to die.

Feeling refreshed, we threw it away (We’re a vengeful breed, not litterers) and decided to get into the automobile. Going through the complicated neighborhood, my friend Jorge was playing around with the gun. Yes, playing with the gun in the front seat of the car. Yes, I am driving. Yes, I’m sober. Well… maybe. In a couple hours, maybe?

Oh! Yes I had a seat belt on…

*BANG*

What the fuck is that shit?!

What I heard next, can only be described as one of the funniest things ever.

Whilest my friend Jorge is yelling that he just shot himself in the thumb, I’m in the front seat laughing my ass off!!! Now, now, we had tissues in the glove compartment, so luckily we can … “stop” the bleeding, and can now concentrate on trying to find the BB that shot Jorge.

Here, I’ve found a video to help explain what happened.

We can’t find the sucker. It survived this ordeal, for now. It did, however, call Jorge’s Mom “a dirty scoundrel”. So, I drop Jorge off at his place, thanked him for bringing his BB Gun and parted ways with Jorge.

He sold the gun.

On eBay.

I get a call from the poor bastard a week later. Now, remember that whenever you have a wound, you disinfect the damn thing, you put a bandaid around it, you put duct tape around it, whatever you can to  help the wound heal, right? Well, that’s exactly what Jorge did for about a week. Like, what I was saying, I get a call from Jorge.

“I found the BB pellet.”

“Oh yeah, where?”

IN my thumb!”

The BB pellet was so deep in his thumb that it apparently took a couple days to show visibility, and when he was removing the bandaid from it is when he finally noticed it. Can you imagine shooting yourself with a BB Gun in your thumb, and not even noticing that the pellet is still inside your finger? He, knowing now where the pellet is, we carefully removed it and then prompted to show me.

We sold the pellet on eBay too.

Play
Tagged with  

3 thoughts on “A BB pellet

  1. This is now, the absolute best “My Morning Story” Podcast I have ever made! lol

  2. Pretty good post. I just came by your blog and wanted to say
    that I have really liked browsing your blog posts. Anyway
    I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon!

  3. One time I had this friend that I valued, like, greater than my brother? Then he was testing his gun. My real bro was there sitting, on a couch, and the this friend that I had valued finally finished with his gun.

    He said he was going to check his pistol.

    Then, he decided to shoot my face with the thing. Luckily I was not a usual dumbshit, and was able to flick it off with the side of my cheek. It did tear a big hole in my visage though.

    Oh my god, did it not tear a big hole in my visage?

    So I went home crying to my mom that my friend just blew up my face, and then, quick as you know, his pellet gun got confiscated.

    Later on, in the playground, as I laughed because I was able to buy the Super Nintendo System before him, because of his little ‘trigger shot’ (which, to this day, I am sure was malevolent, and intended for my eye), because of the money, I used to let him believe he could pull wheelies after hills longer than me.

    After that, I valued that guy way less than my brother.

Leave a Reply