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Pick up Chicks 302

This is a list of 5 types of women, a man might come across in a party.  A woman is like a poker game, you just have to know how to play your cards right!

1.  If she is shy

Be exceptionally loud, and make her feel a part of the group.  In another way of saying it: Your loud, she’s quiet, hence the balance between the two of you.  Shy women, feel they need someone that has an easy time talking and she will automatically be interested in you.

2.  If she is stuck up, or better word “Too high class for everyone else in the room.”

Take that bitch down! If she talks about how hot she is, talk about how hot she isn’t.  “You know, your fucking hot, but that shirt your wearing is absolutely disgusting.” “You seriously, didn’t buy that did you.”

NOTE: Don’t comment on jewelry! I once made a comment to some stuck up bitch about her Earrings. “Did a midget crawl out of your ear and die! What the fuck are those things?” .. Turned out grandma was dead, and she was wearing her grandma’s earrings.

But don’t tell the woman your trying to hook up with that she is ugly, just bring her down to earth, make her human!  When you bring this person down to earth, she realizes your the only man in the room willing to speak your mind.  But always remember, you don’t actually want this chick except for 1 night purposes only.

3.  If she is foreign “Bring up the stooges”

I actually learned this through Seinfield so I can’t take all of the credit.  Women love new things, and every culture has its own personality.  The American culture is huge on TV and movies.  The 3 stooges are like the rock and roll of comedy!  I picked up my chick by offering to marry her and telling her that every American has to see the movie King Kong.

Keep in mind, this is when King Kong was coming out in theaters, and there is always a great past time movie being re-made etc. “Transformers”, “Journey to the Center of the Earth”, “Land of the Lost.” etc…

4.  If she is sad

This is the easiest and the hardest one, because you don’t want to look like a slime ball moving in on a fragile chick!  Ease yourself over to her through out the night. You can be in the same room, but not talking to her. Remember this also depends on how large the party is.

Make yourself come across like someone she knows, but hasn’t become friends with yet.  Kinda like that chick in your old gym class you used to watch but never talk to!  After you achieve this, where you both are familiar with each other from a far you can now move in.  Approach her and ask her  “How are you doing?”  If she says she is sad, you can always follow up and be like “What’s wrong?” etc.  If she is sad, then she wants to talk about it with you.

If she replies “I’m Fine.” or “I’m good, how are you doing” <- You know she is lying -> BUT

Your response,  “You sure? You look like you could use  a drink?  <- Let her respond->  If things still fail, then offer to go grab her a drink, because the line is long and a pain in the ass. Oh at this point you can also then tell her your name, because you just initiated a whole conversation.  If she is being a bitch, most likely she doesn’t like players and you need to step back and be like ‘Hey, just thought you were cute, no need to get all pissed off at me’

<- It’ll work trust me

5.  Drunk and Obnoxious

9 times out of 10 this girl is going to end up with someone by the end of the night!  Why else would she be so drunk, right?  Gives the woman full reason to fuck up and do anything she wants and forget about it!

Don’t calm this type of person down, and don’t get on them about being TOOO Drunk!  Instead have fun doing the things that she’s doing. If she is dancing, you should dance. If she is playing poker, you should play poker.  If she is outside in the cold, you go outside in the cold. ETC… Remember that you both are at a party, and you should try to relax and party with her. Guide her from falling over, and keep the beer away from her.  Let her sober up a little bit, you don’t want to end up in a situation like “Superbad” where she pukes while on top of you!

So there is 5 simple types of women to deal with upon meeting them at a party.

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