Being 16, I had to have a car and it didn’t matter what car! My mother sold me a 87 Dodge Omni fairly cheap and I was on my way!. The sad part of all this, the car is actually what picked up the chicks, not ME! But, we will save those type of stories for a different day.
This story begins when I was driving home from the bowling alley with two beautiful babies by my side. It was late, and I have only been driving this small piece of shit for approximately a month.
I remember the night because it was the second time in my life that I was pulled over. Thinking to myself, I said “Don’t cry, no matter what you do, don’t fucking cry.” A moment later, a knock on the window, “Sir, can you please roll down your window.” The cop said.
I began rolling my window down, because one has to realize, that this is an 87 Dodge Omni, and it simply didn’t have electric windows.
“Do you know what you did?” asked the Man outside my window.
“Umm, You noticed I have no rear view mirror?” NO
“I was speeding?” NO
“Well, my horn doesn’t work, but I don’t know how you would notice that. Because my side view mirror is broken?” NO!
“Well, I honestly don’t know why I was pulled over then.”
“Are you sure you don’t have anything else to tell me? Maybe a dead body in the trunk?” NO!
I was joking, I pulled you over because your tail lights aren’t working and you need to get them fixed as soon as possible. I’m only going to give you a warning this time, but if someone else pulls you over, you could very well get a ticket.”
Moral of the story:
Learn to shut the fuck up! And not tell the cop every wrong damn thing with your car! Repeat after me: “Sorry sir, I don’t believe I did anything wrong.”
Podcast: Play in new window | Download