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Married Man (The Prelude)

It was early fall, and the leaves were already beginning to melt into those beautiful colors.  The floors of the road were painted in red and yellow, while all of the sidewalks in town were swept clean. The College town was very active, with a lot of bars, movie theaters and clubs.  It was the place to be.  Even the townies couldn’t get enough of their own Town.

Harry’s Bar and Lounge” was probably the most popular joint in this town.  It had a beautiful, classical facade that sat atop  a huge stair well.  The building stood three stories in height, with a balcony on the second level that over looked Broken Bound River.  The river was exceptionally beautiful this time of year with all the trees pouring over top of it.  The leaves would just trickle down the river lighting it up like gold. Of course this being a college town, only the loneliest of the lonely, would ever actually take time out of his 21st birthday to notice these sort of interesting things.

To continue reading Married Man (The Prelude), you must

buy the book Morning Stories

Zukny
28 Male from north Delaware. I have No idea what I am doing, but I am doing it.

13 Comments

0
  • My Morning Story

    Dude, maybe my story isn’t written great, but I love the fucking Character I wrote!

    Reminds me of my Dad! He drinks hard core every night, and goes on these “Intelligent’ or “dumb ass” rants!

    My character just sees, thinks, feels, all the senses get stronger as he drinks! GENIUS WORK lol

  • riverfr0zen

    I think there’s a good story there, but if you want to *exploit* it fully, needs some fixin’ 😉

    I know. You say good things about me, I say bad things about you. That’s the way the world works, freckles.

    (what does that even mean 😉

  • My Morning Story

    Thanx for the info man. Before I posted this one, I asked a few people what they thought, and they honestly didn’t give me a lot of feedback.

    So its always nice to hear feedback at some point, whatever it is.

    I couldn’t disagree either, I know the story has a decent plot, its just week in certain areas. The story would almost be better, if I made the woman get up and smack him!

    Then tell him, they were getting the freak on! Pissed of as hell, and walks out.

    (Only reason I didn’t end it that way is, because I already named the story ( the married Man ) So, I didn’t wanna change it lol )

    We need someone here, thats not scared to say the truth! If you want to be hard core, your always aloud to read the stories prior to them being posted, and email the person.

    PS: I recently updated the BIO / Author page, and theres more to come! So, we’ll get that page looking sexier soon enough. IF you have any requests let me know.

  • riverfr0zen

    No I think the ending is pretty hilarious. ” … and he could tell he would soon marry her.” Nice. I guess it would be useful if I actually pointed out what I think needs fixing 🙂

    So, I was really just talking about tightening up the grammar and such. The tenses are a little careless, e.g. ” … and the crowd was trickling out. The girls have already went home …”

    And some run-on sentences, e.g. “Leaving an exceptionally long night for Jay, but at least he could have some time to talk to this sickly banging chick he just met.”

    I guess these things could work if the story was ‘spoken’, but when written they kind of stand out and detract from the reading.

    Ok, so where’s my damn prude glasses and grammar nazi cane …. ?

    Site is looking better and better btw — congrats. Nice gradient at the header there. Blends that in nicely.

    • My Morning Story

      I understand you now! I suck at grammer! thanks for pointing out the places for me!
      Glad you think its funny to! i try to make all my stories have some humor in them, just not sure how it always comes out.

      ps: 🙂 Hey, glad to hear your take on the website finally! Its not showing up in IE properly right now, but I ll fix that in the future. Not a big problem though.

      and I got some nasty comments the other day from a website telling me to get rid of my fat chick.. I Just love her, and I don’t know why.

      • riverfr0zen

        Heh, where did you get her? Is it clip art or did you make that? In any case, I don’t know why someone would be nasty about it. In my experience some of the best sites have tended to start out a little clunky, amateurish, etc. but over time develop their own character from these basic roots. Hey, maybe a year from now that fat chick will be like, all embossed in gold and shit, and all stylized, like the the peanut guy from the Planters brand 😉

      • Just!ne

        Friends don’t let friends fuck with fatties!

  • My Morning Story

    Its a movie, and it hasn’t come out yet. It was the only picture I could find, but I just searched for it, and came up with nothing!

    Maybe they saw, i downloaded and got really mad. I have no idea where they draw the line at, what I am aloud to use and what I am not aloud to use.. U know? (story-write) doesn’t seem to care about what pictures are used, but they care about what music is used.

    ( In my head, I am modeling some things after their site )

  • Creation dude

    So everyone knows that it would seriously hurt if you did get shot right there but your not exactly going to have a serious chance of getting killed so it’s much more sensible to have a bullet proof vest rather than pants, plus you may have to put something pretty heavy there so it might way you down a bit 😛

  • championat

    Go isn’t a complete sentence. It is not even a clause on it’s own. We take it as such, because everyone says it.

  • pgroar

    It’s a love at first sight. In the hanging room with flapping hands, turned to warm language with something to say: “Call me the next SNM bondage”.

  • rustyshackleford88

    I feel like you might have rushed out the ending. Maybe not even rushed, but there isn’t a huge amount of conflict there, its like bam! conflict bam! resolution, done. Also, for some reason a part that really pulls me out of the story is when you said he feels fine after that ridiculous amount of alcohol, and the fact he is of smaller stature. I’m just saying it’s not good to pull your audience out like that. Other than that it was bitchin’.

  • Just!ne

    I don’t have enough cleavage for someone do shots : (

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