The Hidden Secret to Success

That’s right, I’ve found it. The all-elusive secrets to leading an enriching, successful life.

After many years spent as a struggling musician and writer, it seems the only logical thing to do at this point, is to take a look around me. What are others doing? So I’ve spent some time basking in the glory of others. Smelling, tasting, reading, touching, studying, and performing autopsies on others’ current and past successes. Well, the results are in…get ready, because this article may very well change your life.

Okay, I won’t give this tantalizing little morsel away right off of the bat, you must keep on reading. First, let’s test your abilities. I will name a few successful people, and we’ll see if you can decipher what they all have in common. Ready? Here they are.

Green Day

Dan Brown

Lil’ Wayne

Ke$ha

Lil’ Mama

Fergie

Dane Cook

The Ramones

Michael Bay

These folks have all seen success on a large scale at somepoint in their careers. What do they all have in common? They all suck. Not just a little bit, either. These “artists” suck badly; like the chrome off of Flavor Flav’s grill. Through dedicated, intense research, I have found that it is not just these specific artists, either. There are many. In fact, more often than not, an “artist” experiencing a smorgasbord of success will indubitably suck. Not just one genre of music, not just music, not just film, not just non-fiction, not just photography – you get the point. This is universal.

Any art form, any genre – the real key to a plethora of successful outings is simply performing terribly and way below the standard set so many years ago. It actually helps if you have a full lack of talents at your disposal. Can’t even form a G chord on a guitar? Be a rockstar! Have to cover up bad acting, bad writing and a lack of depth with a mass of explosions? Be a Hollywood director!

There it is, my friends, a first step in the right direction. THE secret to success in the arts. Of course, there is little much else to consider.

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