I have some big bitches with the way things are. The main thing is that not many people seem to care. And everyone calls you a whiner when you do bitch about it, or they say that bitching does no good. But someone has got to bitch to identify the problem. Maybe someone will hear my bitching and they will bitch to someone who will then bitch to someone who does something, anything, about it. For now, all I know to do is bitch.
Ostensibly there are myriad choices for a person. You can choose where to live, what to do for a living; you can choose your hobbies, with whom you associate. You can choose what kind of clothes you wear, what kind of bike you ride as a kid, what kind of car you drive as an adult, what kind of food you eat. You get to decide whether or not you will drink alcohol, and what kind of alcohol. You can decide to drink coffee and what kind of coffee to drink. You can choose a mate with whom you may spend the majority of your life, or you can choose to not have a mate and be celibate. You can choose to have multiple partners and never settle on one mate. You decide whether or not to have children. If you become pregnant unintentionally, you can choose to abort the child. You choose what television shows to watch, or to not watch television. You pick the movies you want to see, or maybe you don’t really like movies, so you don’t watch many, or none! You can choose to read books—and what kind of books—or you may choose to never read a book in your life. All these choices, and I could name more, are at our disposal, so how could someone say there aren’t many choices in life? How could one say, we are not so free to do what we want? It’s quite easy to dismantle the idea that you have all these choices, that we have free will. Economics, of course, plays a big part in your ability to make any of these decisions on your own. Most people stick around the same area they are born in—if you’re born in Oklahoma, you’ll most likely be buried there. Why? It takes a lot of initiative to move away from your family, even if you want to. And if your family isn’t what’s keeping you, a fear of the unknown can stunt your progress. Perhaps you have initiative and an urge to travel, but you simply don’t want to be away from your family and what you know. You may not know what to decide. It’s a hard decision. Someone from a small town in Ohio might want to live in New York City, even if temporarily. Now, if that person has the initiative to move, and they are okay with leaving their parents, siblings, cousins and friends, they still may not ever make it. Why? Economics of course. They live in a town where you can rent a two-bedroom home for four times cheaper than in Manhatten one could have a studio apartment. Maybe it’s not economics. Maybe said person with initiative and the urge to move is okay with leaving their family and friends, and she has the financial means to get started in the big city. But wait! She has just found out she is pregnant. She could choose to have an abortion and move to NYC, but her family has brought her up a devout Catholic, and so she can’t bring herself to have an abortion. She decides to put off moving to NYC. The baby is born, time goes by, she marries, she becomes pregnant again, her career takes up tons of time, her mother dies, her father moves to Sarasota, and her urge to move to NYC is all but forgotten. By the time she’s 40, she feels more like moving to Florida with her dying father. However by this time, her first born has moved to Phoenix and her youngest is in Las Vegas. Should she move to Florida or out west? Too late; her husband has just been assigned a position he cannot pass up in Nova Scotia. After a long debate, she “chooses” to go with him. This may all seem like life, and you can say it all happened for a reason. Whatever. The point I’m making is that how many of the major choices in this person’s life were truly hers? Another example: a baby is born in a brothel to a prostitute. That baby is put to work in a sweatshop at age 6. He would like to go to America. He never does because he dies at age 13 from AIDS. What choices could he have made that could’ve improved his life? None. I realize this is an extreme example, but it certainly has happened.
Sometimes I get really angry; other times I am asleep or drunk.