The Genocide of Arcades

Seriously, what is the world coming to? Roasted tomatoes on my WHITE pizza, shoppers getting pepper-sprayed over a fucking video game, that video from Heart2Heart, and countless other atrocities seen daily. None of that compares to what I was witness to this Sunday here in snowy Denver, CO.

My lady-friend and I decided it was a wonderful day to go out and be active – you know, find an arcade I mean. There’s a nifty little bar out here called “1 UP”. It’s a bar with loads of classic cabinets; cabinets I can appreciate as an old fart. There is, however, one glaring issue with this place – it’s a bar. It basically just feels like any other bar, only there’s a smorgasbord of games to feast yourself on. This means you have to fight your way through a crowd of oversexed sorority girls and the horde of frothing-at-the-mouth bros looking not to kick your ass at Street Fighter III: Third Strike, but kick your ass literally. This is a problem for me. I’m a nerd through and through and it shows. I’m like a fucking filet oscar cooked to perfection on the dollar menu for these guys. So yeah, I wanted to go somewhere else.

Enter Dave and Buster’s. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s basically a sports bar and grill with burgers and beers. Yet there is a twist! It also houses a fucking arcade! Only the food and atmosphere suck and usually their arcades do as well. No matter, I thought ignorantly, we’ll just find some classics we’re comfortable with and avoid the crowd. The place is filled with arcade cabinets bigger than your mom, warranting enough room to house a mech per game. Most of these games either suck my balls or aren’t up my alley. I mean, fuck, there’s giant-sized Fruit Ninja. There are like five giant sized touch-screen games available for iOS and Android devices. The last thing I want to do at an arcade is play little time-wasters that I play on my phone whilst taking a poo. So we get cozy at House of the Dead II and Time Crisis 4 for a while until I want something a bit more…fulfilling.

This leads us past the four player battle air hockey (yeah, it looked pretty awesome) and the pinball machines. I spot a Donkey Kong Junior cabinet. Then a Galaga cabinet! I start thinking I’m on to something as my mouth does something funny that it rarely ever does – the muscles move upward, forcing my mouth slightly open; almost as if to convey happiness or something of the sort. Then…well…that’s it. Nothing else. I make my way back ’round the main area of the arcade. More shooters. Through the bar to the other side where noone else is and I’m pretty sure I just saw a tumbleweed blow by. This is it? Not only are they missing some real essential stuff, but…I seriously haven’t seen where they’re hiding the Street Fighter cabinet. I mean any fucking Street Fighter cabinet. Christ, not even a Mortal Kombat game in sight. I figure this means they must be hiding it in a secret room where I need a password for entry and there are a bunch of dudes standing around a cabinet with money in their hands, placing bets and cheering wildly. So I approach some guy wearing a referee shirt (jersey?) for some reason and figure it means he works there. I’m in luck, he does! “Excuse me…sir? Where’s your Street Fighter cabinet?” “Street Fighter? We don’t have that. I think we have a Mortal Kombat game over there somewhere, but it’s really old.” Yeah, thanks. A Mortal Kombat that’s really old? Oh, sweet merciful ancestors of Mt. Olympus! Why have you forsaken me!? You know what, man? Fuck you. I know you just work here and all, but dude. What kind of fucking arcade doesn’t have ANY Street Fighter? This is ridiculous. After my lady-friend and I exchange some incredibly shocked and disgusted glances followed by series of grunts, we collect ourselves in search of the dreaded old Mortal Kombat. Once again, nowhere to be found. I spot another dude in another referee jersey (still confused by this) and ask him where ANY fighting game would be held. Pondering my incredibly challenging inquiry, he repeats the question to himself and then points in a certain direction. I follow his finger to find he’s pointing to a giant-sized Infinity Blade where some buffoon is moving his arms around wildly on the massive touch-screen. Now I’m pissed and frustrated. “Dude, that’s not a fighting game, that’s Infinity Blade. Do you guys even know what I’m talking about? Where’s the Mortal Kombat?” He then tells me there is no Mortal Kombat.

My lady and I waste what’s left of the stupid ass “Power Card” that we had to pay a fee to obtain, followed by paying for the token amount attached to it. Furthermore, there’s designated place to obtain these. You have to find a server and ask them for one. That was a pain in itself. After some more House of the Dead II (since it was all they had that we could stomach), we left grumpy and dissatisfied.

Just thought I’d share my story of a modern day trip to the arcade with you all. Remember when arcades were fucking awesome? There was a real comradery between all of the kids. Even though you may be rivals over a few quarters of your time, you both loved the same things and respected each other for it. I miss the fuck out of arcades. Real arcades, not arcades that have good cabinets, but are nothing more than meat markets with some distraction. Not arcades that are really restaurants with some bland entertainment on the side.

By the by, I posted this on a new blog I started where I’ll occasionally write other stuff about video games. It’s pretty much exactly what you’re thinking. You can check it out at http://whippingforporkchops.wordpress.com

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Deadly Love Chapters 1-2 By Amilee Turner

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White Lies

Now, tell me the truth this time.

The truth? You you’d be some dick to find it. Your briefcase is knotted tight with white lies. Its…white lies…that start it…white lies…that end it…white lies…in between. Of course, ain’t no lie ever white; maybe you’s smart enough to figure that out.

When I told the grimy cop, “I ain’t seen Jim,” it was only half true. You’ll forgive my white lie—a good woman protects her man. He leaned on the doorjamb, uniform blues untucked and the devil’s grin on his face. His gun hung outlaw low on his hip; I played my fingers over the black steel, trying to shake him from our scent.

“Let’s see it shoot,” I purred.

His squint meandered down my body, a think rolling behind his lemon-sour sneer. “I don’t take sloppy seconds.” He gleeked an amber rope through his teeth and left.

I had the phone back to my ear as soon as his car turned the corner. “I told that greasy wop I ain’t seen you,” I whispered. Thunder bowled down the street.

“Great.” Jim was ragged, sucking air. “I jacked Mikey Deuce’s car. I’ll get you. We’ll roll north to West Virginia.”

I know Mikey Deuce… I mean… I read in the papers he was muscle for the Italians. I was half drunk with worry, half drunk with gin. Jim was out of his league—jobbing with a pro like Deuce. But Jim drafted the plan, every detail accounted, I had no choice but to trust him.

Twenty minutes later we were riding 85 North…setting sun burning the right half of my face. That briefcase you’re after rode between us like a toddler. It was big as a dog with a brass handle. I asked what was inside, but Jim didn’t answer. His eyes were locked to the rearview. That…that grimy cop was tailing us, lights flashing.

“That’s…the pig that came by earlier,” I said.

Jim slammed the gas.

“It’s Mikey Deuce,” he spat. We swerved to the shoulder, the rumble strip our own personal earthquake. My press-ons snapped I was grabbing the seat so hard. The wind swirled grocery bags and bits of shredded tire across the highway, and just like nothing, the sky opened—downpour under a shining sun.

“How’d Mikey get a cop car?” I cried. Jim cut through two lanes like nothing, wipers squealing banshee against the glass.

“He asked the pig real nice, Jen.”

He squinted sarcasm at me and that’s what killed us. He didn’t see the minivan. Our sides kissed a metal scream. Rain thumped bongos on the roof. Sparks flew like comets. I covered my face as we fishtailed to the fast lane, so I didn’t see much after that. I heard a tire pop! and Deuce’s police siren closing in.

“Why’s he tryin’ to kill us?” I screamed.

“I told that greasy wop he was–”

But we hydroplaned a pool of water and went flying before Jim could tell me.

The steering wheel locked and earth spun like a carnival ride. We whirled round, putting a sick in my stomach, pushing everything out out out. My head crashed the window, glass everywhere, and I guess we slammed the concrete divider. It sounded like an explosion. We stopped sudden as to break a neck and I blacked out.

I came around feeling like a Jap diaper wrestler was squattin’ on my chest. I couldn’t suck air. My guts were fire. The car was a beach of glass, everything crumpled like used foil. I spied Jim hobbling across traffic, arms crossed like he was cradling a toddler… I mean, he probably…busted a wrist or something. Cars squealed fishtails around him.

The thing is, that case you’re asking after… I didn’t see it after the wreck. Honest to goodness, it wasn’t in the car. I crawled out Jim’s door and saw dead cars everywhere. Everything was dipped in sun-gold, burning my eyes. Horns beeped like cusses on TV. A big rig was tipped up, smoke from its nose bleeding into the sky. I was set to jump after Jim when somebody shouted,

“Don’t move!”

It didn’t take a genius to figure Mikey Deuce had his cop-killing gun aiming to blow a hole through my head. Sunblaze and police flashers filled the raindrops. They looked like gobs of hard candy from the sky—lemon, cherry, blueberry.

“You know better than to double-cross me, Jenny!”

I turned and saw Mikey Deuce’s unmistakable silhouette, his gun trained on me. And…now I remember… He had the money in his other hand. Yessir, Mikey has your briefcase. You should go chase him.

“Come here, blondie.” Mikey put on his fake smile as Jim evaporated into the thicket past the highway. “We’ll go get Jim. I’ll get my money just like you…”

But I didn’t need to hear any more. I ran. Mikey cussed and thunder clapped without lightning. Fire burned my leg and I skidded to asphalt. It went black. And now I’m here with you, repeating this story to the rapture.

That’s the truth—every white lie. Mikey Deuce chased us, shot me and took that two million dollars up to Blacksburg. That’s all I got to say, dick. If you can untangle it, you’re a better man than Jim thought

It’s just like you said, sister. “Ain’t no lie ever white.” Spun together like braided strings, all those…white lies…? They turn black and coil about your neck till you’ve hung yourself out to dry.

The Majestic Imagination

“Wake up.”

“Wake up.”

“WAKE UP!”

“WAKE UP!!!”

 

Waking up slowly, feeling relaxed, the man rubbed his eyes from under his glasses, refreshed, stirred from a sleep that felt like the best sleep he had ever had. Stretching his legs, arms, he wondered what had woke him, his sleep, that perfect sleep, he thought, being so deep, he couldn’t remember what had woke him. And coming to think about it, he couldn’t remember much of anything else.

Looking at his hands, the watch on his wrist, the jeans he was in, one knee tore open. The Converse chucks on his feet, he couldn’t remember, or the orange shoelaces laced through them. His name, where he had come from, nor where he was. None of it was coming to him.

“Well hello, hello sleepy head,” a voice said from above him. Looking up, branches stretched out from a large, old tree like arms reaching for the sky, the leaves littering those arms a deep green, a healthy green, casting a cooling shadow over all that was under them. Wondering who had spoken to him, assuming it was someone sitting up in the branches, the man who couldn’t remember anything stood, looking up, not seeing anyone.

“Hello?” he said, his own voice unfamiliar to him, something that was strange. Not knowing your own voice, almost like never hearing it before.

“Hello, again.” The voice wasn’t coming from above, but rather in front of him, directly from the tree. Looking to the source, noticing for the first time a face carved into the wood of the tree. Eyes, a nose, mouth. All the features of a face, in the tree, the bark cut away. And while it was an amazing sight to take in, it was unbelievable to think “it” was what was speaking to him.

“Are you talking to me?” the man asked, not sure if the tree would answer him or if it was someone behind the tree merely playing a joke.

“I think I am talking to you,” the tree said, making the man jump back in disbelief. “I mean, what if you aren’t here, and I am just talking to thin air, imagining that I’m talking to you.”

“Of course I am real,” the man said, stepping towards the talking tree, not seeing any danger in approaching. If it was a killer tree, it would have killed him while he slept under it. “But, how are you real? I mean, how are you talking?”

“With my mouth. And my voice. Isn’t that how everyone talks?” The tree asked, a smile crossing its wooden lips.

“I mean, yes. But, how are YOU, a tree, talking?” Touching the tree, it felt real. The bark was rough to his hand, feeling like bark should feel. Part of him thought it was clever animatronics, like in a Hollywood movie. Maybe I stumbled onto a Hollywood movie set. Or maybe, I’m the star of a movie, who got in an accident and can’t remember his name. Maybe I’m Brad Pitt?!

“I don’t understand your question. I’m talking like you are talking. I’m just, talking. Duh!” The tree’s playful demeanor only reinforced the man’s beliefs. Nodding, thinking it was all a gag, everyone on set knowing he was in an accident, deciding to have a bit of fun with him, “pull his leg”, he was going to go right along with it. Sitting down crossed legged, he was going to see how far they were willing to go with their little joke. Mess with a guy with amnesia. Sick people in Hollyweird, let me tell ya.

“So, what’s your name talking tree?” he asked, wondering at the same time what his name was, not too sure if it was Brad Pitt, hoping it was. Brad Pitt is such a badass. I really hope I’m him.

“Birch.” Smiling, the tree was proud of his name.

“Birch?” The man laughed. The tree, old, tall, was no birch, instead being an oak. Whoever is doing the voice is clever, but doesn’t know their tree’s too well. “How’d you get your name Birch?” The last time he said the tree’s name it was with a sarcastic tone.

“Maddie named me, mister. And since you keep asking me questions, let me ask you one. What’s your name?”

“Well,” thinking, the man said the only thing that felt right at the moment, “Brad Pitt. My name is Brad Pitt.”

“No it’s not. You don’t look like a Brad Pitt at all.” Birch shrugged its eyebrows, knowing the man was just saying a name, knowing all too well he didn’t know who he was.

“How’d you know? Do you even know what ‘a Brad Pitt’ looks like?” The man felt like he was arguing with a child, but instead he was arguing with a damn talking tree.

“I don’t but I bet it doesn’t look like you. See, I think you look more like a…. An Albert. Yeah, you’re definitely an Albert.” Sticking out its tongue, Birch definitely acted like a child.

“No, I know I don’t look like an Albert. I am not an Albert.” Crossing his arms, but only for a moment, the man stood, uncrossing them, not daring to stoop down to “their” level, “Their” being the ones who he thought were working the tree. Now I’m starting to act like a child.

“Do you know what you look like? No. Which means you don’t know what an Albert looks like. AND, you don’t know who you are, I know you don’ t, so don’t lie Albert,” the man kept silent, the talking damn tree correct, he didn’t actually know who he was. “Which means you don’t know who you aren’t, SO, you could, or could not be an Albert. Until you can prove to me you aren’t, you mister, are Albert.” Sticking out its tongue again, “Albert” realized he had just lost an argument over his identity to a talking tree.

“Then Albert I shall be,” he gave in, just letting “them” win. “Who is Maddie? You said Maddie named you Birch?”

“Oh, you know Maddie. We all do. She’s the reason for all us Majestic’s.” Albert, confused, had no idea what Birch was going on about. Wow, they are good, he thought, still thinking it was an animatronic tree being used to mess with him.

“Let’s pretend that I don’t know who Maddie is,” which Albert wasn’t pretending, he really didn’t know, but since the tree, Birch, was acting like a child, he would talk to it like he would a child. “Tell me about her.”

“She is so smart. And gifted. And a great story teller. She used to sit and tell me the best stories. She could make up anything, and the way she told it. If it was sad story, I’d want to cry. A happy story I’d laugh. And don’t get me started with the scary stories.” Closing its eyes, Birch didn’t want to think about the scary stories. Nightmares for days would follow.

“Wow, she seems, cool.” Cool was the only word Albert could think of to describe Birch’s take on this Maddie person.

“Oh how she is cool. So cool Albert.” Smiling, Birch always smiled when he thought of Maddie.

“And you said she’s the reason for all us Majestic’s?” Albert asked.

“Stop asking the poor sapling so many questions lad,” a new voice came from behind Albert, making him turn to again stand in disbelief, a unicorn there. The beast, a white stallion with a sparkling horn was breathtaking in its own right, but the checkered sweater vest and monocle were confusing, making Albert raise an eyebrow. This has to be the strangest practical joke in history.

“Now a talking unicorn.” Albert was almost speechless, only able to point out the obvious.

“I do have a name good sir. I am a dignified individual, not just a beast.” The unicorn, speaking with a thick British accent, chin high, horn catching the light, shimmering and twinkling in all its glory.

“And your name is?” Albert said.

“Mr. Q, or Kwu for those who like the letters K-W-U.” Bowing in greeting, Albert couldn’t help but laugh.

“Mr. Q?” he asked, still laughing, the unicorn a bit irritated by the man’s rudeness.

“No Albert. Mr. Q, or Kwu for those who like the letter’s K-W-U,” Birch corrected the man.

“Or, just Mr. Q for short,” Mr. Q finished. “And to answer the question you asked the young sapling before I intervened, we, as in you, I, Birch, all of us here in the Fields, are Majestic’s.”

Looking around, everything around him came into realization, all the sights hitting his brain like a cement truck, almost too much to take in at once. A group of violins floating through the air off in the distance playing on their own; a man in a violet suit floating on what looked like a colorful cloud at first, but upon closer inspection the colorful cloud being hundreds of violet and silver butterflies, flying below the man, holding him in the air while he inspected his nails.

A two story farm house, run down, old, the windows broken; a storm cloud above it, rain falling in sheets, lighting cracking the sky. And that was the thing that made that scene so strange. The storm was only happening above the house, the dark, ominous cloud ONLY above the farm house.

And then the fact that he was talking to a tree and to a unicorn, a unicorn in a sweater vest and monocle, none the less. And they were both talking back. Looking from Mr. Q to Birch and back, then to everything else in the field, Albert didn’t know what to think, but he knew he wasn’t Brad Pitt, nor part of a hollyweird set joke.

“What is going on? This is a dream, it’s all a dream. Just a drug, or heavy alcohol induced dream,” Albert said to himself, trying to get a grip on what was happening.

“Nope. Not a dream,” Birch said, giggling at Albert’s sudden distraught behavior.

“Not even close sir,” Mr. Q added. “WE, as I just stated are Majestic’s. Created by Maddie, and this is the Fields, though it’s only one Field, making you wonder why the name is plural.”

“No, this is a dream. OR, this is a story, and we are characters.” The thought was crazy, but so is a talking tree and unicorn. A UNICORN IN A SWEATER VEST!

“Oh please Albert,” Mr. Q began, insulted. “Do you really think we are nothing more than some minor characters in some whimsical story being written as we speak. I am insulted sir.”

“YOU ARE A TALKING UNICORN WITH A NAME THAT MAKES NO SENSE!” Albert yelled, his confusion turning to anger and frustration.

“And you are an angry man who doesn’t even know his name. Do you even know why Maddie thought you up? Huh, do you? And you dare yell at me. I sir walk on all four legs because I am PROUD to be a unicorn, but you don’t have to call me one simply because. Hmph.” Galloping off, Mr. Q, or Kwu for those who like the letters K-W-U, left Albert and Birch, Birch laughing at the two’s ended argument, Albert even more confused.

“I know why Maddie made me,” Birch said, voice thick with proud enthusiasm to tell about his creation. “Maddie wanted to tell her stories to someone. And her neighbor, Old Mister I-Don’t-Remember-His-Name had a tree with a face he had carved into it. So one day Maddie gave the tree life, and a personality, and a name. Guess what name she gave it?”

“Uh, Birch,” Albert said, his brain hurting from trying to figure out just what the hell was going on.

“Yeah, yeah. It was Birch. You’re smart Albert. Maddie named me Birch, and she would tell me stories, the best stories.”

“Here, she would tell you them here?” Albert asked, wondering if he was a made up creation from the mind of this Maddie person. Come on man, you are not a made up “thing”.

“No silly. I didn’t come to the Field’s till after Maddie got tired telling me stories. It was a sad day, but she moved on. I’m better now. I can still remember every single one of her stories. Every one of them!”

“And Mr. Q? Why’d she think him up?” Looking in the direction of where the unicorn had galloped off to, he was nowhere in sight, having disappeared among the tall grass of the never ending field.

“I was thought up to assist with high school English homework,” the voice came from behind Albert, startling him, the man not even realizing the unicorn had returned.

“English homework? Why would she imagine a unicorn for that?” Albert asked, none of it making any sense at all.

“She had a unicorn bookmark, and she loved to study in the woods. So she created me to assist her. Now you’re turn. Why did she imagine you? Hmmm. Please share. I would love to know why she would imagine such a rude, amnesiac bipedal creature? You’re not even unique from other humans.” Naying in an insult like manner, Mr. Q had done the trick, making Albert ponder his existence. Albert didn’t believe he was made up, but if he was, why wasn’t he unique, like a talking tree, or a prick unicorn in a sweater vest.

Though he couldn’t see himself, or remember what he looked like, to a normal person, Albert would look just that, normal. In a t-shirt, jeans and chucks, black baseball cap and thick black rimmed glasses, he wasn’t overly attractive. His eyes were just sky blue, his hair chestnut brown, and his smile was just a smile. He didn’t have any extra limbs or fingers, and he couldn’t do anything spectacular, which would explain why he couldn’t believe he was just a made up creature, or a Majestic as Mr. Q had called them.

“I don’t know why. The last thing I remember is walking down a crowded street.” Thinking as hard as he could, thinking about that crowded street, walking through and past the people, bumping elbows with folks he would never see again, looking at faces he wouldn’t remember, one face stuck out in his mind. One face that was perfectly remembered. “And then there she was.”

“Maddie,” Birch and Mr. Q said simultaneously. “Blond hair, perfect smile. Pale blue eyes that you can just swim in.” Mr. Q spoke, describing in perfect words exactly what the girl looked like that Albert was remembering. “I think I get why you were imagined Albert,” Mr. Q said, one eyebrow raised, the eyebrow above the monocle, his British voice thick with a ponderous tone. “You are the first Majestic to come to the Field’s since the Violins Magnifico.” Motioning with his head, his horn pointing off in the distance to the floating, playing violins, Albert looked at them, silent, their beautiful music just barely audible on the soft breeze that was blowing through the Field’s.

“Oh how I love the Violins Magnifico!” Birch added, interrupting Mr. Q’s train of thought.  “Maddie thought them up to help her with her violin practices!” Birch, so proud to help out.

“Yes yes Birch. I love them too,” Mr. Q continued. “Anyways, where was I…. Oh yes, first Majestic in a while. You sir, are what I believe to be her, oh how I don’t understand this but I shall say it anyways…. You are her perfect man.” Not believing what he had just said, it seemed only logical to Mr. Q, Birch only able to giggle at this conclusion.

“How can I be her perfect man?” Albert asked, “I don’t even know anything about her.” It was true. All he knew about Maddie was what Birch and Mr. Q had told him about her. That, and he guessed she had been the one he could remember from the street.

“The only thing you can remember is walking down the street right?” Mr. Q asked Albert, Albert nodding his head. “And the only person who can remember is her?” Again, a nod from Albert. “See. Maddie is all grown up. And she is lonely. So, she imagined her perfect man, for one moment, walking past her on the street, and you blew it. You walked right on past her. So just like the rest of us, you were sent to the Field’s, cause she moved you from the real part of her mind, back to the imaginary.”

“How,” the coming question the only thing Albert could think to say, everything else being too much for his brain to even attempt to process at once. “Can this Maddie person imagine us real? I mean, I feel real.” Reaching over, touching Mr. Q, who felt real to the touch, Mr. Q not pleased to be touched though. And thinking about Birch, Birch had felt real to his touch.

“We are real Albert. Quite real indeed. And we are real, because Maddie is a special girl. She has a gift…” Mr. Q, about to finish his sentence about Maddie and her gift, was interrupted by Birch, the child-like tree wanting to tell its new friend Albert instead of the unicorn.

“I WANT TO TELL HIM! CAN I TELL HIM!” Birch shouted, much to both Albert and Mr. Q’s annoyance. Both said yes quickly to shush the tree up and get it to just continue. “Maddie told me all about it. When she was a little Maddie, her daddy left, leaving her with her mean ol’ mommy. But before her daddy went away for forever, he told her one thing. He told her, if she ever needed anyone, anyone at all, they would always be right here, and when he said right here, he tapped his head, and those anyone would come to be there with her. But little Maddie didn’t understand when her daddy tapped his head with his fingers, so she asked him, ‘daddy, what do you mean they will be here?’ and she tapped her own head with her fingers. So her daddy told her.”

“I’ll finish now lil sapling,” Mr. Q said, Birch not happy with being interrupted, but letting the unicorn finish, not wanting to be mean, though Mr. Q was being awful mean for not letting him finish, Birch thought. “Maddie’s father told her to use her imagination if she ever needed anyone. And she took the last thing her father had said to heart. And so, anytime she needed someone, when no one in her life would listen to her; when little Maddie was invisible and needed a friend to be invisible with her, she would think of one of us.”

“So, we are her invisible friends?” Albert asked, thinking he was beginning to understand, but still not believing that he was a made up friend of a little girl.

“No, no, no Albert.” Mr. Q was losing patience with all the man’s silly questions. “It’s really not that hard to grasp. Maddie was invisible to everyone around her. Her father had been the only one who was there for her, so when he left, she was left alone. But from what he had told her, she was able to make new people. People who were there for her. To help her. To listen to her. To help her grow. We are real, but we are created from her imagination, so when she doesn’t need us anymore, when we have helped her best we can, we go back to the imagination. But we are too ‘real’ to just go back to just any imagination. Thus…” Again interrupted by Birch.

“THE FIELD’S! Home to us Majestic’s!” Birch exclaimed loudly. Floating over on his cloud of butterflies, the man in the violet suit seemed uninterested with anything going on around the excited tree, looking more than bored with what seemed like everything.

“Why are we called Majestic’s?” Albert asked, this time the man in the violet suit answering.

“You sure do ask a lot of questions. It is rather annoying if you ask me,” the violet suited man spoke. Lounging on his cloud of butterflies, he wore a top hat, the same shade of violet as his suit, his skin bone white, black tattoo’s adorning his face. His fingernails, which he admired all the while he spoke, were black, with flecks of silver in them, the silver glittery in the light, much like Mr. Q’s horn.

“Nobody asked you Sandman.” Mr. Q replied, the unicorn not a big fan of the violet suited man, usually avoiding him in the Field’s.

“The Sandman was made to help Maddie sleep one night during a thunder storm. Her mommy wouldn’t come tuck her in or give her a kiss or nothing…” Birch began, excitedly, but the Sandman finished.

“So I came and looked over her. The lightning frightened her, but I made it better, telling her stories about Dreamscape, and the wonders of the world of Dreams.” Oozing with egotism, the Sandman was overly proud in that fact, that he had helped Maddie find sleep on stormy nights.

“Alright, I accept it then. I was made up by Maddie, and if what you say is true Mr. Q, then I’m her perfect man, or was, until I blew it.” Albert felt a pain that he couldn’t describe. It’s almost unfair. I blew something that I didn’t even know I was supposed to try at. What the hell? How is that even right?

“Way to go,” The Sandman spoke. “She loved everyone of us, you know. But she loved us as friends. You, she wanted you to love her more than a friend. She wanted someone she could love back, with all her heart, and whelp, you messed that all up now didn’t you?”

“Wow, you really are a pompous dick aren’t you? Must not of liked you too much, you’re here in the Field’s too, aren’t you?” Albert wasn’t liking the Sandman too much, and though he had retorted back, his remark getting quiet, terribly hidden laughs from both the unicorn and the tree, the Sandman finally looking up to glare at all three of them, Albert couldn’t deny what the Sandman had said was true. Maddie had been looking for a new kind of love, and he walked right on by her. “But I did mess it all up. She made me up to be there for her, like all you had. And right on by I walked, right to here, back to not even being a real person anymore.”

“And you had the chance to be real too,” Mr. Q said. “I’m a unicorn in a sweater vest. What chance do I stand in a crowded room?” His voice sad, it was really the first time he had ever thought of it that way. “You don’t belong here Albert. You belong with Maddie.” When he said this, Birch, and even the Sandman agreed.

“Yeah Albert, you got to make her happy and love her, and stuff,” Birch said.

“We were there for her, but the unicorn with the stupid name is right,” the Sandman said, Mr. Q muttering under his breath about him at least having a name. “None of us could stand a chance in the real world with Maddie. At least you’d have a chance to be there forever.”

“But, here I am, in the Field’s, just another forgotten Majestic.” Sitting down, Albert was unhappy. First, he couldn’t remember who he was. Then, he lost an argument to a talking tree about who he was, not being Brad Pitt, disappointedly, instead being named Albert by the said talking tree. Finally, after learning he was a made up person, he had failed in his one task as said made up person. His short existence was a sad, depressing one. “This sucks.”

“But wait!” Birch exclaimed, in the already expected, annoying excitement that Albert expected from the tree. “There might be a way for you to go back and try again Albert!” Albert, curious, looked to the tree, waiting to hear more.

“Don’t even say it tree,” the Sandman said, floating off, finished speaking to the three, knowing that if what he thought the tree was thinking of was about to be brought up, he wanted no part of it.

“Yes lil sapling, leave it be.” Mr. Q knew exactly was Birch was going to say, and thought it would be best to leave the idea alone, not even mentioning it to the newest Majestic.

“No, what is it?” Albert asked, wanting to know.

“Let me tell him, please. PLEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSEEEEEE!” All the while Birch said please, Mr. Q kept repeating the word no, over and over, for several minutes, till Albert couldn’t stand it.

“JUST TELL ME DAMMIT!” he shouted, the two creatures shutting up, Birch sticking its tongue out, Mr. Q doing the same, then snorting as he again galloped off in anger and defeat.

“See that ooky, spooky house over there?” Birch’s eyes turned towards the house. As Albert turned to look at it, knowing the house the tree was speaking of, having looked it over earlier in his initial take of the Field’s, the Violins Magnifico approached, the violin’s playing a haunting song, only adding to the effect. “Inside, there is a nasty old witch, and they say that she holds a treasure. The treasure is said to be there to let one of us go to Maddie without her calling them.”

“What’s the treasure?” Albert asked, having goosebumps, the look of the house and the haunting violin music having the effect on him, a slight shiver crawling up his spine as his mind made up what the witch looked like, if there even was a witch at all.

“There is no treasure,” Mr. Q said, yet again sneaking up on Albert, making the man jump clean off the ground, much to the unicorn’s amusement.

“Jesus Christ in a half shell, would you stop that!” Albert yelled at the unicorn, his hand over his heart, making sure it wasn’t going to jump from his chest, the damn thing beating so hard. “And are you just saying there is no treasure so I don’t go in there, or do you know that there is no treasure?” The unicorn avoided answering, his attention on Violins Magnifico. “Well?”

“Fine, there is a treasure. But, the witch will rip the flesh right from your bones, and then drink you blood mate. It’s crazy to go in there. Suicide.” The unicorn shuddered, clearly shaken by thoughts of the witch.

Looking at the house, Albert’s mind was made up. I failed you once Maddie. Not again. Determined to go into the house and find out if what Birch was saying was true, and if it was, then he was going to love the woman that made him to love her.

“I have to go. Maddie needs me.” Looking to Mr. Q, then to Birch, they both understood perfectly why he had to do it. They were created by Maddie to be there for Maddie. And just like them, Albert was created for her, and he had to do what he thought was best for her.

“Go get that treasure Albert!” Birch exclaimed.

“And do be safe lad,” Mr. Q, whispered. “And tell Maddie hello if you do succeed.”

“And tell her I said hi too,” Birch added. “And that I miss her stories. And ask her how’s she’s been? Well, never mind. I guess you won’t be able to tell me huh? So tell her I’ve been good. And that I miss her, bunches….” Birch continued to yell things for Albert to tell Maddie, but Albert was walking through the Field’s, heading to the house to face the witch, the Violin’s Magnifico behind him, Mozart’s O Fortuna playing off their strings, only making him more determined to succeed.

“It’s time to kick a witch’s ass and get some treasure,” he said to himself, a cocky smirk forming on his lips as he turned his cap backwards, the music from the violins getting his “jacked”. Balling his hands into fists, he took off into a run. Let’s see if you can keep up Violins Magnifico. Man that’s a badass name. And these were Albert’s final thoughts as he ran to meet his only chance to get back to the woman he was made to love.

 

*

 

She sat on the park bench, idly watching people walk past her, the gaze of her eyes telling anyone who paid attention that Maddie was daydreaming, thinking of someplace else, rather than the here and now. Her hair, blond, almost white, was tied back in a pony tail, and her glasses reflected what mid-afternoon sun broke through the canopy of tree leaves in the park that day.

Maddie felt as though her life was missing something, but then again, she knew what it was missing, trying to pass the feelings of emptiness off as an upset tummy. She needed someone to love, and someone to love her back. She had, like most people, had her fair share of failed relationships, and it had been over a year since the last catastrophe that she had been a part of, with a certain arrogant prick named Rick.

Her mind bouncing from here to there, thinking about so much at once, she finally got it to slow down, Maddie remembering a man she had passed earlier that week on the street. He had smiled when he walked by, his face shaded by a baseball cap, his gorgeous eyes behind thick framed glasses. When Maddie had seen that smile, she blushed. She didn’t even know why. She hadn’t blushed since she was kid. After walking past him, or, after he walked right past her, she felt that emptiness, the emptiness that could only be filled by three little words from someone else.

I.

Love.

You.

Maddie mouthed those words while she imagined that man, imagined what he would be like. Kind, sensitive, funny, caring. Staring at her hand, the free one, her other clutching her notebook as it so normally was, a picture was starting to take shape from thin air, an old Polaroid, the black of the picture coming into shape from tiny, black flecks, almost like sand swirling around her hand.

After the Polaroid itself was formed, in seconds mind you, the image on the picture itself began to come too. Maddie watched, as at first it was hard to tell what it was of, the image white, the color of it becoming evident, as though the picture really had just been taken moments before.

In about a minute’s time, held between her forefinger and thumb, Maddie held the Polaroid, now captured on it a picture that was never taken, but one that she was simply imaging. Her and the man that had passed her. She was sitting on his lap, and he was kissing her cheek through a smile, a hearty giggle obviously spilling out from her lips past her own wide grin. The picture made Maddie smile, but, she knew it wasn’t real.

Blinking, the picture was gone. She had always had an overactive imagination, able to create anything with just the power of her mind. It was why she was perfect at what she did. An author, and a best-selling one at that, taking that over-active imagination and putting it to some damn good use. But it had been a while since she had written anything. She just wasn’t inspired like she used to be. She needed something, almost magical, to step into her life to get her back on her feet.

*

 

 

Hiding, Albert held his breath, praying the beast didn’t find him. In the midst of what he thought was going to be a single man, brave assault on the house holding the witch, Albert hadn’t expected any “problems” to arise before he even entered the house. But anyone would think an eight foot tall Minotaur in a pin striped suit with a Tommy-gun was a problem.

Having stepped out from around the house, acting as a guard, the Minotaur had seen the foolish man running up, followed by the Violins Magnifico, but the instance the beast made its presence, the instruments high tailed it in the opposite direction, and the man disappeared in the high grass, falling to his stomach. The Minotaur could only laugh a deep baritone laugh.

“Why the hell would she imagine that goddamn thing!?!” Albert whispered harshly to himself, utterly lost on what pretense Maddie would think up a BIGASS MINOTAUR WITH A MACHINE GUN! COME ON!!

Just lying there, prone on his stomach watching the monster through the blades of the high grass that also served as his hiding grace, Albert’s rush of “badassery”, which had mostly been fueled by the Violins Magnifico music, was all but vanished completely. He knew he stood no chance against the minotaur alone, but lucky for him, so did the other Majestic’s.

“I do believe it’s time to fall back and re-strategize,” Mr. Q whispered, making Albert jump, the man not hearing the unicorn even approach. Crawling on his stomach, staying low, Mr. Q had seen the minotaur appear, and also saw the cowardly move made by Albert to hide, although Mr. Q thought, Cowardly, but smart. Though running in there alone was a stupid idea to begin with. Men and their ideas of valor and chivalry. Bollocks if you ask me…

Albert and Mr. Q crawling back, the Minotaur could see them, making an escape, and he could’ve cared less. Just laughing that deep, baritone laugh and snorting, the monster returned to the back of the house, going down into the cellar until the foolish man attempted another brave assault.

Back at Birch, Albert was breathing hard, having military crawled until the grass was a bit smaller, and only after looking back and seeing the beast gone. Turning his cap back around, trying to catch his breath, he had to ask the obvious question.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?” he asked, pointing towards the house, both Mr. Q and Birch knowing that he was asking about the Minotaur.

“That sir, is Valentine,” Mr. Q began. “One afternoon while Maddie was watching a documentary on the infamous Al Capone, she had thought she heard the word ‘monster’ instead of mobster, making her wonder what would happen if a mobster was a monster. Hence, the big bad Minotaur that perceives itself a gangster.”

“And how long did that thing stay in the real world. I mean, an eight foot tall, walking BULL IN A FEDORA MIGHT ATTRACT SOME ATTENTION!!!” Albert was distraught. He had thought he was going to be facing a witch, maybe a witch with some nasty spells and magic, but he had believed only a witch. NOT A GODDAMN MINOTAUR WITH A MACHINE GUN!!!

“It was only for a brief moment. Maddie had imagined him, never even looked at him or acknowledged him, and then poof! He was here in the Field’s with us. And not a happy camper for being ignored.” Mr. Q shook his head, feeling almost bad for the beast. Almost. “So the witch took him in, and now, from what you just saw, he acts like her self-appointed guardian.”

“Well, Valentine,” Albert thought the name was slightly comical as he said it, “could rip me in half if he wanted to. So I need a new plan.”

“I got an idea,” the tree said, speaking for the first time since Albert had returned from his quick failed attempt to get the treasure.

“And what’s that?” Albert asked, curious to see what the tree would say, thinking maybe Birch was smarter than his demeanor would lead others to believe otherwise.

“We use a catapult to launch you overtop the house, with just the perfect trajectory that once you are overtop, you release your parachute, floating down without being noticed, thanks to Mr. Q and I laying down your distraction. An assault from the front, after we release a heavy barrage of smoke grenades, concealing our own entrance. You go in through the roof Albert, while we take care of big ol’ mean Valentine.” Smiling, Birch was very satisfied with his plan, while Albert and Mr. Q stood dumbfounded, open jawed, and confused.

“That’s a good plan lil’ sapling,” Mr. Q began, Albert finishing for him.

“But we don’t have any of those things what-so-ever.” For a brief moment, the intelligence displayed by Birch had been phenomenal, but only for a brief moment, the innocent child-like personality returning as it realized Albert was right.

“Oh shoot. You are right,” Birch said, frowning. “Well darn it. Now what?” And Birch’s question was on all three of their minds. Now what exactly? Albert thought, not sure what to do.

“What if we help you?” The Sandman asked, floating over the trio on his cloud of butterflies. The question puzzled Mr. Q and Birch, who didn’t see the Sandman as one to offer any sort of assistance to anyone, but Albert was willing to use any help he could get.

“Yes, what if we help?” Mr. Q quickly added, not wanting the Sandman to seem like the savior of the moment.

“I want to help! HOW CAN I HELP!?” Birch yelled, overly excited for the situation. The Sandman, annoyed by the tree, had his cloud of butterflies fly him upwards towards Birch’s top, to which the violet suited man proceeded to break off two branches from the tree. “OUCH! YOU DICK!!” Birch called the Sandman for his action, having learned the word “dick” from Albert.

“Now, why did you do that?” Albert asked, the Sandman floating back down, the branches in his hands, a devilish smile on his bone white face.

“He wanted to know how he could help,” the Sandman said, looking to the angry Birch. Taking the two branches in his hands, closing his eyes, a violet glow emanated, so bright, everyone else had to look away. Albert, shielding his eyes with his hand, the light still seemed to find a way to get through the cracks of his fingers, so amazingly bright.

When it was all said and done, the brightness fading, Albert, Mr. Q and Birch looked upon the Sandman who stood, his butterflies gone, a sword in one hand, a cane in the other. The sword, sterling silver bladed, with a violet hilt, was gorgeous, the blade shining in the light, the hilt guard an entwined work of swirling metal. As for the cane, the stick itself was black, the head of it a miniature version of the Sandman’s head, one eye winking one would notice if the face was closely inspected.

“In the name of Maddie,” the Sandman said, holding the blade of the rapier like sword, allowing Albert to take the hilt, the moment his hand touched it, a tingling feeling passing through his palm, disappearing farther up his arm, almost like getting shocked.

“How’d you do that?” Birch asked, astounded by what the Sandman had just done.

“We are creatures of magic.” Raising one eyebrow, grinning, the Sandman spun his cane, and upon hitting the tip to the ground, a small show of violet sparks erupted. “Now, are we going to stop a witch and get this Majestic to our Maddie or are we going to sit here and be nothing more than imaginary friends?”

“Let’s kill us a witch and get this lad to Maddie!” Mr. Q said, bowing down before the sword wielding man, a motion for Albert to get on him. “I would be honored to be your steed as we rode into this battle.” Eyes closed, the unicorn waited for Albert to get on, but Albert was hesistant.

“I can walk there.  I mean, I have this sword, and I don’ t want to ruin your sweater vest. And…” Making up excuses, Albert didn’t want to admit that he would just find it weird to ride a talking unicorn wearing a sweater vest.

“Just get on dammit!” Mr. Q insulted, the man already wasting time. Albert listening, awkwardly got on, and the unicorn standing back up proudly, Albert positioning himself to where he wouldn’t fall, they were almost ready.

Feeling something in the air, something coming at him, carried on the light breeze that was blowing through the Field’s, Albert, lifting his hand and without looking, snatched the picture from the air, the Polaroid held between his fingers and thumb.

Looking at it, it was Maddie sitting on his lap, him kissing her on the cheek, both smiling like teenagers in love. The picture gave him butterflies in his stomach. Putting the picture in his back pocket, tucking it in so it wouldn’t fall out, Albert was ready.

“Let’s kill us a witch!” he stated proudly, holding the sword in the air, Mr. Q’s head up, his mane of white hair flowing in the wind, his horn shining. Letting the monocle fall the ground, the unicorn would have looked the part of a majestic steed, if not for the sweater vest.

“Not just yet,” the Sandman said, snapping his fingers. From around Birch, the Violins Magnifico slowly appeared, the group of flying violins almost appearing frightened, shaking violently. “Yes you, come here,” the Sandman spoke to the instruments. “Now, when Albert speaks, you will begin our epic battle theme.”

“We have a battle theme,” Birch, Albert and Mr. Q all asked at the same time.

“Of course we have a battle theme. Now, are you going to lead us into battle lover boy?” The Sandman’s words were almost as inspiring as the music played earlier by the violins on Albert’s first attempt.

“LETS DO THIS!!! MAJESTICS HOOOOOOOEEEEE!!!!!” And on that note, Mr. Q launched into a hard gallop, Albert held the sword high, and the Sandman was left standing with Birch wondering what the hell the man had just yelled. Shrugging he leaped, his butterflies returned, carrying him to the house as well, the Violins Magnifico behind the trio, playing Europe’s Final Countdown.

*

 

“…It’s the final countdown!” Maddie’s cell phone rang out, the ringer set on high, a few people around her turning her way to wonder why a girl looking like her had a ringtone like that. Smiling, she loved those looks, hence the reason her ringer was always on high.

“Hello Ruth,” Maddie said, answering the phone to her editor and manager, whom she’d been ignoring for the better part of a month.

“So she does answer her phone!” Ruth said, not too happy that it had taken so long to get in touch with her favorite author, although that said favorite hadn’t written anything in almost six months. “How are you Madeline?”

“Just fine. Just enjoying my tea,” Maddie said, taking a nice long, loud sip from her cup of green tea with just a splash of peach juice. Delicious. Ruth was a few years older than Maddie, and while the two could have been best friends, their relationship had always remained professional. Except for the night that Maddie’s first book made the New York Times best sellers list. That night a lot of Peach Schnapps had been consumed between the two. And Maddie could honestly say that would be the only time she’d ever kissed another woman. Or better yet, made out with one.

“Maddie, you really need to get back into your groove thing girl. Are you working on anything? Anything at all.” It was always business with Ruth. Maddie, setting her tea cup down, opened up her composition notebook, flipping through the pages of hand written poetry and short stories, small doodles drawn sporadically throughout.

“I’ve got one thing coming, but, yeah.” Maddie had been working on a short. The story being one she’d been working on for a bit of time. The ending just wasn’t coming to her.

“What do you mean, ‘yeah’?” Ruth asked.

“I’ll get back to you on that Ruth, got my tea to enjoy,” Maddie said, hanging up, a smile on her face knowing just how angry her manager was at that moment. Pushing her tea away, she wasn’t really in the mood for it, and she was still waiting on the waitress to bring her the bagel and cream cheese that she had ordered twenty minutes before.

Going to the last page of the notebook, seeing where she had left off, she had to figure out what was keeping her from finishing it. It was by far the best short story she had ever written, in her opinion anyway, since no one had ever read it. I just need my inspiration to come along. That’s all I need.

*

 

Valentine had been alerted by the witch that the idiotic man was again attempting an assault of the house, but this time he was accompanied by the unicorn and Sandman. And the violins. Valentine hated the violins.

Coming around the house just as the “heroes” and the damn violins were closing in, Valentine dug his hooves in, and opening fire, unloaded a barrage of rounds from his Tommy-gun, the only noise louder than the rattle of the expended shells being that of his deep, psychotic, baritone laugh.

Albert, seeing the Minotaur appear, knowing what was coming, wasn’t sure how they were going to get past the monster. Expecting that the Valentine was going to open fire on them, Albert hadn’t been expecting for the rounds to stop in the air in front of the still moving group, the bullets colliding with what appeared to be a magic shield. Every time a bullet was stopped, for a brief instance, a ripple of blue could be seen, showing the magic shield that was protecting them.

“What’s stopping those bullets?” Albert asked.

“We are magical creatures after all,” Mr. Q said, eyes narrowed, the thrill of the assault passing through him, helping him in channeling his magic, his horn shimmering the same blue tint as the shield ripples. “When we get close Albert, roll off. I’ll take care of Valentine!” Albert just nodded.

Close enough that the smell of gunpowder was thick in the air, Albert rolled off, staying low in the grass, the magic shield not protecting him anymore as Mr. Q galloped forward to face the Minotaur one-on-one.

Picking up speed, pushing all his might into his magic, pushing that magic through to the shield, Mr. Q made a bee line for Valentine, the Minotaur in turn focusing all his rounds on the unicorn, none of the bullets doing any damage, all stopped by the magic shield. In the moment before the two collided, Valentine, tossing the gun, not needing it, dug his hooves in even more, and tearing the fedora from his horned head, hands and arms extended, waiting for the unicorn to meet him, he let out a mighty roar, saliva flying from his mouth.

In an ear deafening clap that rivaled even the thunder roaring above the house, Mr. Q crashed into the awaiting Minotaur, the magic shield shattering into a trillion blue specks, all dissipating in the air as the two mythological creatures flew through the front of the farm house, into the home. Rolling around inside the home, in the cobweb infested living room, tossing, snorting, grunting, the two beasts battled, leaving Albert and the Sandman outside, waiting to see who would emerge victorious. But more so on Albert’s mind, he wondered where the witch was.

And as though his thoughts had been screaming out to be heard, the front door of the home swung open, and though Albert and the Sandman were expecting one of the mythological beasts, instead stepped out a woman who couldn’t have been older than her mid thirties, but the strangest thing about her, she looked as though she had stepped right out of a black and white movie. Stepping through the door, the only two colors on her whole were grey and black.

Instead of walking, it appeared almost as though she was floating, but once clear of the doorway and the crumbling overhang that hung over the decrepit porch, the witch showed her true form, eight long spider legs extending out from under her black dress, the legs just as black as the dress upon her grey figure.

“Company. I’ve been expecting company,” the witch yelled, having to over the thunder claps from above and the battle still taking place inside her falling-apart home. The lightning flashes above made her appear ever more menacing, though it wasn’t difficult to be frightened by just her in general, the witch standing well over nine feet tall with her spider legs extended, the full body of a spider exposed, the abdomen and all. It was like something out of a horror movie.

Inside the home, the two beasts were leaving ruins of anything their tussle came into contact with. Valentine swung with his mighty fists, connecting with Mr. Q’s sides, but the Minotaur had taken a tremendous blow before they even entered the home, when the unicorn had driven his magical shield directly into the Minotaur. Now it was just a matter of waiting to see if the gangster beast would tire before pummeling the sweater vested unicorn into submission. Or worse: death.

The unicorn, realizing he was going to have to do something, working himself free of the Minotaur’s grip, and spinning quickly, turning to put his rear towards Valentine, all the while dodging more blows, Mr. Q, with the last of his strength, in a great kick, connected both back hooves with Valentine’s face, the monster stopping dead still, then, like a statue that had been pushed over, fell, smashing through the floorboards, the floor too weak to withstand that much weight coming down at once. Mr. Q, moving quickly to not follow the Minotaur down, was quite pleased with himself, though tired and in plenty of pain.

“Undignified beast, walking on two legs. NO RESPECT FOR YOURSELF.” Preparing to go outside, having seen the witch walk past him and the Minotaur earlier, paying no heed to the two battling beasts, Mr. Q pondered how Albert and the Sandman were fairing. But before stepping out, Mr. Q, looking down into the hole, seeing the defeated, still unconscious Minotaur, lying upon the stone basement floor, had one more thing to add. “AND GOOD DAY SIR!”

Back outside, the witch controlling the very lightning from above, laid down a mighty barrage of strikes, wherever the white hot bolts touched, flames erupted, the grass floor of the Field’s around the home quickly becoming a death trap to Albert, who was having to dip, dive and dodge the bolts. The Sandman, flying on his butterflies, had the witch’s attention, blasting her with orbs of violet energy from his cane, and though the bolts were being directed towards the Sandman, Albert almost felt as though he was the primary target, most of the bolts connecting just mere inches from the man, keeping him on the move.

“Why don’t you just die already!!” the Sandman yelled, blasting another energy orb at the witch, more irritated than anything that his magic was nothing compared to hers, the witch doing nothing more than wincing at every orb that connected with her body.

“Now, now,” the witch said, laughing, her voice a demonic screech. “This is a fun I have been looking forward too!” With both hands out, a giant bolt called forth from the cloud found its way to the Sandman’s butterfly cloud, the beautiful insects bursting into a quick ball of flame, disappearing, leaving the Sandman to fall to the ground many feet below.

Albert, using this as his opportune distraction, sprinted to Valentine’s discarded Tommy-gun. Picking the gun up, the weapon heavier than expected, Albert was forced to drop the sword, but the gun seemed a better weapon choice to him anyways.

Pulling the trigger, the Minotaur had made the task look simple, but the recoil rocked Albert’s body, forcing him to grip the gun with all his strength, his muscles quickly getting soar. But it was worth it, the bullets fired entering the witch’s spider abdomen, the witch screaming out in agony, quickly turning to see her attacker.

“I’ll rip your goddamn head from those shoulders and use it as a volleyball!” the witch sneered through gritted teeth. Making a dash towards Albert, her spider legs clicking as they moved almost too fast for the eye to see, Albert had to abandon the heavy gun and move, but not before picking up his sword, rolling just as the witch trampled over where the man had just been standing.

Running, thinking that he had to do something, Albert turned around, only to look up into the witch’s grey eyes, the spider-woman looming over him, having caught up to him with no effort, anger from the pain he had caused her showcased on her face. Lifting her arms high, summoning lighting to her clawed fingers, she wanted to deliver the killing blow onto the man herself, instead of sending a bolt from the cloud above.

And like the Minotaur, Albert had to wonder how or why the witch had come into existence, had to wonder why Maddie would imagine something so dark and evil. And though he would never know, the story behind the witch’s creation was a simple one.

*

 

Night of the living dead, by Romero, one of Maddie’s favorite films, even though she was only nine. Her mother would most definitely yell if she knew Maddie was watching, but that was only if her mother cared enough to walk into the room at all. Maddie couldn’t remember the last time her mother had given her a goodnight kiss, or even a goodnight. Most nights she would fall asleep with only the television to comfort her.

Rolling over, Maddie could remember a time before she had a television in her room, a time when she would sit and think about things, about her mommy, and how she missed her daddy. Then the Sandman came and told her stories. He made it better to fall asleep at night. No need to think of all those sad, bad, and miserable things.

When Maddie’s mommy got a new television, she allowed Maddie to have the old one in her room. It was only a matter of time before Maddie didn’t need the Sandman anymore, the yarns played out on the television whispering her to sleep. And that night, it was Romero’s yarn that was whispering to her.

With the volume down low, Maddie didn’t really focus on it, her back turned to the t.v. as she felt her eyelids getting heavy. Maddie had seen those nasty zombie’s trying to get into the white farmhouse over and over, knew what was coming, how it ended. She just liked having it on as she tried to go to sleep for the night.

Opening her eyes for what she thought was going to be the last time for the night, just to see the lights on the wall from the black and white film playing out on her television, an unfamiliar shadow crawled down the wall that caught Maddie’s eye, pulling her from her almost sleep to a more awake state of being.

Rolling over, Maddie had never seen such an icky, hairy, or just plain big spider in her life. Just crawling down the screen, the zombies walking beneath the spider’s legs didn’t scare Maddie what-so-ever, but that spider, it was a different story.

Screaming, she couldn’t help it. The spider was just too big and Maddie was afraid it was going to jump off that screen. Jump off onto her bed, and then who knew what it would do. Crawl up to her, with those long, nasty legs. Fangs dripping venom, all eight of its creepy eyes reflecting her frightened face.

Her mother, still in her night gown, who herself had been sound asleep when she was stirred awake by the blood curdling scream she had heard from her daughter’s room, Maddie’s mommy was not happy the least bit when all it had been was a spider. One little spider.

Scolding her daughter for overreacting, then for the movie on the television, Maddie’s mommy pulled the plug on the television, telling her daughter no more television at night, and then told her to grow up. “It’s only a damn spider Maddie. Grow up.”

Slamming the door behind her as she left, leaving Maddie in the dark room alone, little Maddie crying, upset, hurt that her mommy hadn’t come in to protect her from the nasty spider, instead telling her to just grow up, Maddie was hurt. But in the darkness, she could hear something. Thinking it the Sandman, the clacking sound she could hear from the dark corner of her room told her differently.

“It’s time to go to sleep baby,” the voice said from the darkness. But it confused Maddie. It sounded just like her mother, but she had just seen her mother walk out of the room. The slam of the door had only made that fact more real. Yet, Maddie could hear her whispering from the dark. But what was the clacking noise. The clacking of something moving maybe?

“Mommy?” Maddie asked, just for the sake of asking the question. Stepping into what little moonlight sneaked into the room, Maddie’s mother was most definitely in the room, but there was something off about her. The tint of her skin color, the blond in her hair gone, turned grey. But maybe it was just the moonlight?

“Hehehe. Of course baby, now. Go to sleep.” The last words to come from this different mommy’s mouth weren’t just words. They were growls. And they scared Maddie worse than the spider. Where was the Sandman at when she needed him? Why did the men she loved and needed disappear when she needed them the most?

*

Arm’s raised, lighting captured between her hands, the witch was ready to strike down the man below her, the man that had hurt her. Smiling, the thrill of the kill was the most sensational feeling that had ever made its way through her body.

Holding the sword up, knowing it was probably futile, Albert thinking the witch’s magic stronger and deadlier than the Sandman’s sword. Falling backwards to the ground as his eyes were glued to the witch’s hands, the light trapped between them mesmerizing, like lightning caught in a glass ball.

Just seconds before the blow found its recipient, just before Albert was to be shocked to death with the voltage familiar inside lightning, Mr. Q was suddenly standing above Albert, the unicorn rearing high on its hind haunches, steed looking more mighty and grandiose than ever before. Colliding with the falling orb held in her hands, the witches lightning orb was stopped by Mr. Q’s magic shield, the brilliance emanating from the two lights, the intense white light mixing with the soft blue light, it was beautiful to partake.

And then a wicked explosion, a blinding explosion, Albert’s vision left blurry afterwards. When he could finally see again, the witch was gone, and Mr. Q was on the ground, his horn broken, eyes closed, making Albert fear the worse.

Crawling to the steed, petting his mane, the man let out a sigh of relief when he realized that Mr. Q was breathing, but unconscious. Looking to the Sandman, the violet suited man on his knees, recovering from his fall, Albert was on his own, though he was questioning his worth.

“What are you waiting for you bloke?” Mr. Q asked, eyes still closed, the words a struggle to get out. The pain shooting through his head from his broken horn was unbearable, but he somehow found the energy to get the words out.

“I don’t think I can do it. I’m not magic like you or him,” Albert said. He was scared, and starting to feel like he had failed Maddie again. He had just fallen over, watching the witch prepare to kill him. I did nothing to protect myself. How could I protect Maddie?

“You don’t have to be magic Albert. Just go. You have love on your side.” Barely opening his eye, Mr. Q looked upon Albert for one brief moment, his words having no use to persuade the man to try. Try and find the treasure.

“What does love have against something like that?” he asked concerning the witch. Dropping the sword, Albert was losing all hope quickly. The Sandman, sick of the man’s depressed whining, planted a foot in the man’s shoulder, kicking him over. “Hey!” Albert asked, wondering why the hell he had just gotten kicked by someone whom he had thought was his acquaintance.

Reaching down before Albert could move, the Sandman grabbed and pulled out the Polaroid of Maddie and Albert, holding it in front of the man. “This is what love can do you idiot!” the Sandman said angrily. “Love can do the impossible, create things out of nothing, travel worlds. Save lives. Create life you fool. She is waiting for you. Maddie is waiting for you!” Poking Albert in the chest with his cane as he said “you”, the Sandman got through a little bit better than the unicorn had, which might have angered Mr. Q if the steed had fallen back in exhausted sleep.

Inspiration back, Albert got to his feet, picked up his sword, turned his cap backwards, and taking a deep breath, found a way to convince himself to finish what he had started. What he had dragged two other Majestic’s into. He had to finish it for all of them.

Turning, going to enter the house, finish the witch off once and for all and claim the treasure, but before he took his first step to head towards the house, he turned back to the Sandman, snatching the Polaroid from smiling Sandman’s hand.

“That’s mine,” Albert said, returning the smile, putting the picture back into his pocket after looking at it for a moment. Giving a farewell nod, he was off to kill the witch and claim his treasure.

“Good luck kid,” the Sandman whispered, resting both hands on the cane, turning his attention to the still sleeping unicorn. “And I’ll say this while you’re asleep, good job Q. But lose the sweater vest. It’s ugly.” Making his way off towards Birch, snapping his fingers, his butterflies gone, the Sandman would need some entertainment while he walked.

Coming up from hiding in the non-burned patches in the Field’s grass, the Violins Magnifico went to the Sandman to follow him, playing a random symphonic masterpiece by Tchaikovsky, the Sandman whistling right along with the song as he walked off. Opening one eye, having heard everything, Mr. Q smiled. “Well, your suit is tacky,” the unicorn said before allowing himself to fall back to sleep.

 

Making his way into the destroyed home, one hand upon the sword, the other out in front, forefinger and pinky extended out like “devil horns”, to anyone who didn’t know, Albert looked like he could handle his own with a sword, but the truth was, he had no idea what the hell he was doing trying to fight a nine foot tall spider woman with magic powers with an oversize, shiny “sandwich tooth pick”.

The battle that had occurred between Mr. Q and Valentine was all too evident, the furniture destroyed, holes all throughout the house, the most obvious being the one in the floor. Looking down in, Valentine was still unconscious on the basement floor, Albert breathing a sigh of relief upon the sight. Only the spider bitch to deal with.

Creeping through the house as slowly as he could, it was almost no use, the floor boards creaking beneath his feet, the rusty old nails squeaking loudly, every squeak making him wince, making Albert think that the witch was just waiting to pounce and pin him down with one of her long, black spider legs.

“God I hate spiders,” he said to himself, vowing to kill every eight legged little bastard from there on out, if the queen of spiders didn’t get him first that is. Seeing nothing on the first floor that could either be a witch or a treasure, though he had no clue what the treasure even looked like, Albert came across the spot where the steps had been at one point, leading to the top floor, but the stairs themselves were gone, having collapsed into the basement, leaving a cobweb infested space where they had once been.

Standing there over the collapsed staircase, Albert could see the basement door directly across from him, and below the door, the stairs leading down into the basement had also collapsed, the wood from both cases laying crumbled, broken on the stone floor roughly seven feet down.

Trying to figure out which was his best route to go to find the treasure, Albert thought he could hear something, though faint at first, he passed it off as just the sounds of the house, then thought it could have been the witch sneaking up on him. Looking all around, trying to stay as silent as he could, though he was in the open, an easy target, he was able to listen in more carefully, the sound being that of music playing below him.

Kneeling down, it was hard at first to hear the music, but it was just loud enough to faintly pick up. And along with the music, he could hear singing. The witch is singing, he thought, her chilling voice sending a chill up his spine. Realizing he had no better choice but to go down, Albert looked below, not liking the idea of jumping down onto the broken wood from the stairs, so instead, he returned to the hole made from the collapsed Valentine.

Hopping down in, after sitting on the edge of the collapsed floor, feeling the weakened floor boards giving way, not allowing Albert much time to consider his outrageous idea, the man just dropped down onto the minotaur, more gracious than anything his fall didn’t wake the beast. Rolling off Valentine as quickly as possible, making sure to not poke the monster with his sword, Albert breathed a deep sigh of relief, glad his stupid idea had actually worked.

Looking around, the basement was built like a stone labyrinth, but the way to go was simple, Albert just following the witch’s singing. Sneaking, moving on his tip toes, staying as quiet as possible, the witch’s haunting singing to the music was chilling, unnaturally beautiful, but still chilling.

Here’s a lullaby to close your eyes….

Albert could see a faint light ahead of him in the stone hallway he was sneaking down.

It was always you that I despised….

Leaning against the wall, Albert listening to the witch’s singing from the room just around the corner, he was almost hypnotized, closing his eyes to listen, a moment to allow the witch to continue. Continue before they faced off for one last time, with only one walking away.

I don’t care enough for you to cry….

“Here’s a lullaby to close your eyes,” the witch finished singing, the music dying to silence, the eerily sound of the echo being the only sounds left in the stone labyrinth, till even those were gone in silence. “You think you are good enough for my Madeline?” The witch knew that the man was around the corner, she could sense him, his fear of her. His love for Maddie. She knew he was going to face her, the fool, she thought.

“To be honest,” Albert said, stepping out from off the wall around the corner, looking into the room, the witch’s back to him, the faint light being that given off by two lit candles. The only thing in the room was a wooden table, and besides the candles, Albert couldn’t see what else was on it, the witch standing overtop the mysterious cause for the music. “I know I am not good enough for Maddie. She’s a special girl. But I will try my damndest to be the best man for her that I can be.”

Pointing the tip of the sword to the witch, Albert waited for her to turn and face him, wondering why she was stalling.

“You can try all you want. All you want, but it won’t ever be good enough.” Turning around, the witch’s hands were scorched, terribly damaged when the lightning ball she had attempted to kill Albert with exploded from Mr. Q’s interference. Looking Albert in the face, a single tear rolled down her grey cheek.

“Who are you to try and stop me? We are all supposed to do what is best for Maddie. Be there for HER!” Angry, this witch was delaying what Albert had to do, and that was to just get to Maddie.

“I do care for her! More than any of the rest of you! Madeline would never admit it, and though she hated her mother, despised her, my little girl hated that bastard of a father more!! The one who walked out on her, leaving her with that horrible woman who would dare call herself MOTHER!” Albert’s guard lessened from the witch’s monologue, he was nearly caught off guard by a lightning quick strike from one of the witch spider legs, Albert dropping low, rolling backwards through the door way, the leg slammed into the stone wall across from her with such force, pieces exploded away, cracks running across the wall’s surface.

Seeing no alternative other than to attack, Albert struck, swinging down with the sword, cutting clean through the leg, about three feet of the appendage falling to the floor, still wiggling on its own, the witch screaming in agony as he redrew her damaged leg back.

Jumping through the doorway, swinging blindly with a clenched fist, missing, the witch was crying more openly, the tears being those of fury. Albert, back on his feet, knew he had the upper hand, the witch’s hands damaged and him making a heavy blow severing one of her legs.

“Just give up,” he said, more up to talking her down than trying to fight the angry spider woman. “Allow me to go. I promise, I won’t walk out on Maddie. I never would do that.”

“LIAR! YOU ARE ALL LIARS!” Throwing more blind punches, just swinging madly, the witch refused to strike with her legs, afraid of what the man was capable of, surprising her with that first attack.  Jumping at Albert, with one last lunge, the witch felt the worst feeling in her gut, Albert falling back, sword up, the witch falling onto the silver blade.

Pushing her to the side, rolling away, Albert almost felt pity for the witch, looking upon her tears, the sword in her belly, black blood just barely dripping out, a thin line running down the blade.

“I’m sorry,” Albert said, his apology not needed, but sincere. “I didn’t want it to come to this. I just want to get to Maddie.” Seeing the witch’s finger motioning for him to bend down, he wanted to at least oblige her with one last dying wish. Knelt down, he didn’t expect her to grip his throat in a death grip, pulling her face towards his, the clacking of her legs attempting to move deafening as the sound echoed in the hall.

“I’ll rip your still beating imaginary heart from your worthless chest!” Sneering, the witch tried to get to her feet, but the pain in her gut made it impossible, and the grip of death on her was just as strong on her as her grip on Albert’s throat.

Reacting instinctively, Albert grabbed the sword’s handle, pulled it from her belly, and swinging it in an ark, sliced through the witch’s arm, cutting off another of her appendages, and after getting some space between him and her, he had to put up a bit of a struggle to get the amputated arm off, throwing it to the floor.

“BITCH! I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY SOMETHING TO REDEEM YOURSELF BEFORE YOU DIED!! I MEAN SERIOUSLY, what the hell!” Kicking her arm towards the witch, Albert could hear her whispering, but didn’t care, he had defeated her. Turning his back to her, he walked back to the room, and looking into it, on the table was a music box, the box white and pink.

It was always you that I despised,” the witch whispered under her dying breath, knowing that she had failed in her own self-righteous mission, trying to keep Madeline safe from any more men that might leave her, breaking her heart.

Staring at the music box, Albert knew it was the treasure that he had gone into the house for. Looking it over, then looking over himself, he was covered in the witch’s blood, his clothing torn up from the battles, and he was still clutching the sword in a mighty grip. Releasing the blade, he let it fall to the floor with a clang, and smiling, he had done it, placing both hands onto the lid of the music box.

Realizing he was holding his breath, Albert smiled, letting out a breath while he lifted the lid, the music beginning to play as the lid was opened fully, a little plastic ballerina spinning on one toe to the music. The box itself was empty, but a tiny mirror was inset on the inside of the lid. Looking at the mirror, Albert noticed he had no reflection, and thinking this strange he reached forward, touching the mirror, feeling like he had just got zapped with millions and millions of volts of electricity, his eye’s shutting closed quick, his breath stolen from his lungs, the music so loud it felt like it was in his head.

The witch saw a flash of light erupt from the room, knowing what had happened. The Majestic man had touched the mirror, doing what she had been trying to prevent since her arrival in the fields. The man was gone, having used the magic trapped in the box to go back to the real world, to go back to Maddie.

The music still playing as the light disappeared, the witch smiled, a part of her actually glad she had failed. Maybe the man was being honest, maybe he could make Madeline happy, maybe he wouldn’t break her heart. Crawling across the floor, leaving a trail of her own blood as she made it into the room, she looked up at the table, the lid open, music coming from the music box as the little ballerina spun.

Pulling herself up to a kneeling position, the witch looked upon the box knowing the truth behind it, being the only one who did. The box was the only real thing ever sent to the Field’s by Madeline. A box that she had found in her mother’s closet, a gift that her mother had claimed was from her “bastard husband and Maddie’s worthless father.” That day, that was the only day that Maddie hated her father for abandoning her, so she damned the box to the Field’s.

Closing the lid, the witch knew her time was very short, her last breath of life in her lungs as she fell back to the floor. Eyes closed, she let out that last breath with a final verse, allowing death to take her.

Here’s a lullaby to close your eyes…”

*

Tapping her pencil, Maddie just didn’t know what to write. She had major writer’s block, and pissed off, she tossed her pencil, the writing utensil landing several feet away, catching the attention of a man who was enjoying a muffin. Picking the pencil up, he walked it over with a smile, and returned it to the very agitated woman, who found a way to return a smile.

“Thank you,” Maddie said, just catching a glimpse of the ring on the man’s left ring finger, telling her he was already another woman’s man. Damn, he’s cute too.

“No problem miss,” the man said, returning to his muffin without another thought. Maddie watching him walk back to his table and sit down, she let out a lonely sigh. She had been returning to the same corner café, ordering the same peach tea each day, a week passing by since her last phone conversation with Ruth. Maddie just felt like she needed to be there, but couldn’t explain why. It wasn’t helping her with her writing, at all. It just seeming to be a futile and pointless attempt to let something unexplainable happen.

Calling over the waitress to get her check, the girl whom Maddie thought looked too young to be out of high school, she thought about asking the girl’s age for a brief second, but decided not to, the idea rude. Thanking the girl, another item was with the receipt, which both things puzzled Maddie.

“Your tea was taken care of by a gentleman over there,” the waitress said, pointing behind Maddie. As Maddie turned, there was no one there. But the tea being paid for wasn’t what puzzled her. The Polaroid sitting underneath the receipt did. The Polaroid that she had thought she only imagined. Maddie always knew she had a very overactive imagination, and many imaginary friends growing up, but how is this real? she thought as she held the picture.

Turning back around, still no one at the table, Maddie didn’t understand. Confused, the whole matter surreal, upon looking back at her own table holding her notebook and pencil, Maddie was surprised to see the man from the Polaroid sitting across from her, smiling.

“Well hello there,” the man said, a smile on his face. Wearing a black oxford, grey dress vest and black cap, he mixed dress well with the casual, his black rimmed glasses only drawing Maddie to look deeper into his sky blue eyes.

“Are you real?” Maddie asked, having never seen the man before except for passing him on the street and having a strange Polaroid of the two together. Looking at him, head tilted to the side while she tried to unravel the mystery of what was happening, she couldn’t help but smile, the man’s smile contagious.

“I feel real, so you tell me if you think I feel real.” Getting to his feet, walking around the metal table sitting outside the café, the same table that Maddie had sat at for a week waiting for something to happen, she got that something she had been waiting for.

Picked up by the man, his hands finding their way into hers, she was on her feet, and before she could stop him, he was pulling her in for the most passionate, electrified kiss she had ever had the pleasure of being a part of. Feeling as though small shocks were traveling from his lips into hers, then through the rest of her body, Maddie lost her breath and could feel her heart just pounding in her chest.

“My god,” she said, once he pulled away, both of them keeping their eyes closed for a few more minutes, “that was too real. Surreal.” Smiling bigger than before, Maddie opened her eyes and had a loss of words, not sure what to say beyond “surreal”.

“You don’t know what I had to go through just to get that kiss,” the man said, leaning in and kissing Maddie on the cheek before returning to his seat across from her, Maddie taking a moment longer to regain her composure, then also taking her seat.

“I don’t. But first, what’s your name?” She had to at least know the name of her surreal stranger.

“Someone decided I looked like an Albert. So, name is Albert, and this pleasure is all mine Maddie,” reaching a hand across to shake hers, Maddie couldn’t help but giggle as she returned the gesture, lightly shaking his hand.

“You don’t look like an Albert what-so-ever,” and in her opinion he REALLY didn’t look at all like an Albert. “You look more like, an oh, I don’t know, a Brad maybe.” This made Albert laugh.

“It’s just funny you say that, but I have to tell you, I grew to like Albert.”

“Then Albert it is. But who gave you your name, Albert?” Maddie was curious. Everything else about this man was strange, so the origin of his name had to be just as interesting.

“You may remember him. He’s about thirty feet tall, has a child like demeanor.” Maddie at first was confused. How the hell can someone be thirty feet tall? And then like what Albert was saying was a spark that had ignited a fire in her mind, everything came flooding back to her. Birch, Mr. Q, or Kwu for those who like the letters K-W-U, and the Sandman. Valentine, and the witch. The music box. Her Majestic’s.

“All of you. You were all so real to me. You were all there for me.” Shedding a single tear, Maddie questioned herself, wondering how she could forget, pushing all her memories to the back of her brain, making her friends, the Majestic’s nothing more than figments of her childhood imagination, or so she had convinced herself.

“Hey now,” Albert said, reaching across wiping the tear away. “No need for tears. They are still there for you. Without them, I would have never of made it here doll.” Maddie, looking from Albert to her notebook, had to ask the only question that was on her mind.

“You defeated the witch to become real again?” It seemed crazy, but she knew it was all real. It was unexplainable, but she knew it was all real.

“You got it. Said I wasn’t good enough for you.” Albert took Maddie’s hand in his, and with his free hand pulled her notebook over, opening it up to the last page, reading the last few lines she had written, her story still needing an ending.

“And do you think you are?” Maddie knew that Albert was something she had imagined, and she knew that she had imagined her perfect man when she had brought him into reality for that brief moment on the street. But even Maddie didn’t know what it took for her perfect man to be well, perfect.

“To be honest, I don’t. But, I’ll try my damndest to make you smile every day. To wipe away every tear like I just did, and to make sure your story ends with,” and at the same time, both Albert and Maddie finished his sentence, “happily ever after.”

Grabbing her pencil, he began writing in her notebook, making her smile, and a look crossing her face, without words saying just what is it are you writing Albert? When he finished, he closed the notebook with the pencil in it, and pushed it towards Maddie, a playful grin on his lips, with a look of satisfaction in his eyes.

“And just how did you end my story?” Maddie asked, going to open the notebook, her curiosity overwhelming, but Albert keeping his hand on top of the notebook, waiting to say what he had to say before letting her continue.

“When you read this, imagine it in your head doll. Do that for me alright?” Albert asked, his little plan coming together, but Maddie still not sure what to expect from what he had just jotted down in her composition book.

“Alright,” she said, a bit of puzzlement in her tone. Finally allowed to open it, she cleared her mind, and let Albert’s words take her away.

*

 

The Majestic’s knew that Albert had made it back to Maddie. They had felt the kiss between the two all the way across the planes, passing from reality into the Field’s, world of imagination built by their beloved Maddie.

But Albert felt as though he owed everyone a debt of gratitude, his success being nothing without admitting it was all due to them, everyone of the individuals left back in the Field’s to only wish they could see their Maddie one last time.

And as she read the words written in her own notebook, the words written by a man that she herself had created, she smiled, feeling a tingle in her whole that she hadn’t felt since she was a child. With her mind’s eye, she was in the Field’s with her Majestic’s, with her friends.

Birch, casting a cooling shadow over the sitting Sandman, the violet suited man spinning tales much like he used to when a restless Maddie needed to fall asleep.

In a house that had been built to be haunted was changed to a beautiful home, a home that Maddie had never saw as her own, but in the Field’s it looked more welcoming. Inside, the sweater vested unicorn had found that he had a real talent to sing, and taking his teaching methods taught the Violins Magnifico a new tune or two.

And Valentine, the mobster minotaur. Thinking of how silly his creation had been, Maddie made the creature much more pleasant to deal with, the minotaur taking up singing as well, his deep baritone voice complimenting the unicorn’s perfectly.

And finally the witch. Albert knew reading just the mention of the spider legged woman would spur unhappy memories in Maddie, Albert still unsure of the witch’s creation, but better off not knowing. But, just like the rest, the woman was a Majestic like the rest of them, and even she needed happiness.

So, with Albert’s final written words, knowing that Maddie reading it, Albert wished for the witch to take the name Mother, and to have normal legs, long beautiful legs, and for her black and white color to be replaced with the color of  a woman in her prime. And Mother, the woman who had been hell bent on protecting Maddie, had a new job. Look after the Majestic’s, loving them the way only a mother could…

*

“Will all that really happen?” Maddie said, closing the notebook, wishing she really could see all her friends again.

“If you want it too doll.” Albert, getting to his feet for a final time, pulled Maddie to hers. “Come on, I’ll make you dinner.”

“Where are you going to make me dinner?” Maddie asked, getting up.

“Turns out you not only imagined me, but also gave me an apartment not far from here. And a bank account. With a whole seven hundred dollars in it.”

“A whole seven hundred dollars in it huh? And just what name did I imagine for you, since you have this apartment and bank account?” He had to have a name to have either of them, she thought.

“Brad Pitt as funny as that is,” Albert laughed, Maddie as well.

“Welp, Brad, what’s for dinner?” Maddie, taking his hand, left the notebook on the table, not too concerned with how her story would end, content on just letting it play out for her to be surprised.

“Albert,” Albert said, “I prefer Albert doll.” Pulling her in, he snagged one last kiss before the two began to walk to his apartment.

“My apologies Albert. Off we are then?” For the first time, Maddie felt like she had found somebody real who was actually going to be there for her, even if she had imagined him.

“Off we are Madeline. Off we are.” And for the first time, Albert felt a feeling of success, having finally made it to the woman he was meant to love. And though neither of them would ever know it, the Field’s filled with wild roses, the velvet of the flowers springing up like an ocean, telling the Majestic’s left behind that Maddie was happy. The flowing red telling all of them that Maddie had finally found love.

“I knew you would do it Albert,” Birch would whisper.

“Way to go kid,” would slip out the Sandman’s black lips.

“Good job indeed,” Mr. Q would let out through a smile.

And without saying a word, just letting a single tear fall to the Field’s velvet floor, Mother knew that for the first time in her existence, she knew what the perfect failure felt like, having failed to stop the man, but knowing that she was all the more happy she had.

 

*

 

Walking up to the notebook, opening it and grabbing the pencil, the boy didn’t even read what was written. He didn’t have to. He knew just what to write without even having to read what was in that notebook. Jotting down the words, he closed the notebook, slid the pencil behind his ear, claiming it as his own, and skipped off down the street, leaving the notebook to soak in the coming late afternoon rain.

If anyone were to walk up before the rain ruined the book, they would find an unfinished story written by a best-selling author, a small narrative written by an imaginary man who had fought to become real, and a final sentence written by that boy. The final sentence being…

 

They all live Happily ever after…

 

 

 

 

 

Princess Lottie Pt. 3

When Lottie woke she was warm, dry, and more than a little confused. She opened her eyes and recognized nothing around her. She was lying in a large, comfortable bed with clean downy sheets. Her head throbbed and her throat felt like it had never come in contact with anything wetter than sand, but the sun was warm on her face and the gentle chirping of birds made her forget the horror of nearly being burned alive by an irate, visually impaired dragon. She sat up and immediately regretted the decision.

Her arm exploded with pain and all at once the memories of the battle with Helgarth raced through her mind. Sure, she’d been in dangerous predicaments before, but usually she only sat on the sidelines watching. Never had she been the one doing the rescuing. Her heart hammered rapidly in her chest and her left arm screamed to remind her of the consequences of her actions. She gasped to keep from crying as her burns radiated heat though her body. She clenched her eyes shut and ground her teeth together in attempt to will away the pain.

“Oh, you’re awake,” said a squeaky voice. “Guess it’s time to change your bandages.”

A withered, spindly hand cradled Lottie’s arm while Lottie did everything she could to not choke the life out of the old woman the hand belonged to. The woman removed the bandages and the couple of layers of skin that didn’t seem to want to be separated from them. Lottie screamed and lost control of her limb. The offended arm jumped to life on its own terms and slapped the woman across her wrinkly face.

Ignoring the princess’s protest, the woman renewed her grip on Lottie with strength that was surprising in someone who looked as if she’d fall over in a strong wind. She smeared a thick, gluey salve into Lottie’s burns. Relief instantly rushed over Lottie and she swooned a little. The woman cackled and proceeded to wrap the arm in a clean, white gauze. When she was finished, she thrust a seashell into Lottie’s hand.

“Drink,” she ordered.

Lottie drank. Cold, fresh water slid down her throat taking her breath away. She refilled the shell three more times before she had drunk her fill. After the water came a slightly larger shell filled with hot soup. The soup had large chunks of crab and a spicy, coconutty taste which Lottie found delicious. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was. When the last dregs of soup were finished, Lottie sighed contentedly and handed the shell back to the woman.

“How was it?” said the woman removing the shells and soiled bandages. Lottie belched in response. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” the old woman cackled.

“Who are you?” Lottie asked.

“Oh, Lordy, where are my manners,” the woman said. “I’m Agatha. And you’re Lottie. Princess Lottie to be exact.”

Lottie was taken aback. “How do you know my name?” she said.

“Your friend,” Agatha said. “The boy in the dress.”

“Calix!” shouted Lottie. “How is he?”

“Oh don’t worry about him,” Agatha laughed. “Him and the dragon’s out collecting firewood for me.”

Lottie’s heart leapt. “Godric’s okay too!”

Agatha had to force Lottie back into bed. “Now, you just calm down, little lady,” she said. “Don’t go working yourself into a fuss. Both of your friends are just fine. It’s you, you should be worried about.”

“I’m fine,” Lottie said. “Never felt better. How long was I out?”

“About a week,” said Agatha.

Lottie coughed and nearly passed out again from the shock. “A week?” she said.

Agatha nodded and began to move around her tiny hut tidying things up. For the first time Lottie got a good look at the place. Agatha’s house was very small, barely large enough to fit the bed Lottie was currently lying in, a fireplace, and a rickety table made out of seaweed and driftwood. All around the circular room hung herbs, flowers, and other plants Lottie had never laid eyes on. The table was littered with seashells and glass bottles containing ointments, potions, creams, and powders. A small cauldron sat at the edge of the table beside a well-used mortar and pestle. Not exactly the accommodations Lottie was used to, but she decided that she like the place. It was homey and had a pleasant briny scent.

“Your home is lovely,” Lottie said.

Agatha beamed with pride. “I built this place myself,” she said. “It’s not much, but it’s homey and has a pleasant briny scent.”

Lottie shrugged that off as a coincidence and eyed cauldron. “Are you a witch?” she said.

Agatha rolled her eyes and glowered at her. “I could have been,” she said. “But I didn’t pass the entrance exam. Had trouble with transfigurations. My toads always retained their human eyes.”

“I’m so sorry,” Lottie said.

“I could never make any of my spells stick anyway,” Agatha replied rinsing out the seashells and arranging them neatly on a shelf. “Some people have it, some people don’t. I only wanted to be a witch because of my mother in the first place. I come from a long line of prominent witches. I’m afraid my mother was quite disappointed when I never seemed to display a gift for it.”

“So all these herbs and things…” Lottie said.

“Medicinal,” Agatha said. “Never amounted to much of a sorceress, but I’m a top notch healer.”

“I’m glad you are,” said Lottie. “I’m not sure I’d be here if not for you.”

Agatha finished tidying up and plopped onto the bed beside Lottie. “You wouldn’t be,” she said. “Have you had a good look at that arm of yours?”

Lottie looked at her injured arm for the first time and almost threw up that delicious crab stew. She didn’t know what she expected, but it was definitely what she saw. The skin was blackened and blistered. What was left of it anyway. Her arm resembled something a butcher would discard than a fully functional limb. Lottie stared at it in horror. Agatha noticed Lottie’s expression and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “It’s not quite as bad as it looks. We can fix you right up.”

“Really?” Lottie asked hopefully.

“Of course,” said Agatha. “I told you I am a top notch healer. You’re lucky that boy got you here when he did. Not an easy task dragging an injured princess and an unconscious dragon three miles to shore in time to save that arm of yours.”

Lottie was speechless. She hadn’t considered how she had come to be in Agatha’s hut, but she never imagined that Calix could have carried her. In a dress no less! She may have seriously misjudged his character. Lottie was almost too relieved when Agatha interrupted her thoughts.

“You know,” she said. “That shield was harder than blazes to remove. Most of it had melted right on to the bone. What on earth did you do to make them Iron Mountain dragons so angry?”

Lottie sighed and smiled. “It’s a long story,” she said.

“Well, your friends won’t be back for a while,” said Agatha. “And I love a good story.”

 

***

By the time Lottie had finished the story the sun was setting and Godric and Calix had returned. Godric still had a black eye and what appeared to be a broken nose, and Calix was missing his eyebrows, but both of were otherwise uninjured. After a few moments of hugs, tears, and a collective sigh of relief, a fire was built, dinner was cooked, and Agatha introduced them all to her homemade wine.

An hour later the wine was gone, the fire had died to smoldering embers, and Godric had challenged Agatha to a game of tic-tac-toe in the sand leaving Lottie and Calix alone. There was an uncomfortable silence between the two and for a while they were content to watch the last wisps of smoke rise and dance away from the fire.

Calix cleared his throat and tried to speak but nothing came of it. Lottie shifted her weight and scratched nervously at her injured arm.

“How’s your arm?” Calix said at last.

“Still hurts,” she said loosening her bandages. “And it itches pretty badly. Agatha gave me some salve she concocted that she says will heal it up in no time.”

She pulled a small jar from her pocket and unstopped it. She recoiled a little at the metallic scent that assailed her nostrils. Calix laughed.

“That bad eh?”

“Not really, “ she said. “Just smells like my grandma.”

She unwound the bandages and smeared the medicine on her burns. Calix whistled slightly.

“I didn’t realize it was that bad,” he said. “Is that bone?”

Lottie nodded as cool relief seeped into her muscles. She wound a new bandage over her newly growing skin, but couldn’t quite tie it off. She hated the look of pity in Calix’s eye as he took her hand.

“Here, let me help,” he said. Lottie didn’t like showing any sort of weakness but offered him her hand. His touch was surprisingly gentle and she found that she minded him touching her less than she would have thought. When he was finished he held her hand just a little longer than Lottie felt was necessary.

“Um, Calix?” said Lottie eying their intertwined hands.

He quickly pulled his hand back and even in the half light of the near dead fire, Lottie could see him blush. Lottie decided it was rather endearing and place a hand on his shoulder.

“Thank you,” she said.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied.

“Thank you for also dragging my unconscious body to shore,” she continued.

Calix snickered. “Oh, you were no problem,” he said. “Getting Godric here was the hard part.”

“Jeez, Calix,” Lottie said rolling her eyes. “Just say ‘you’re welcome’ already. Don’t be so damn modest. According to Agatha, you probably saved my life.

“I definitely saved your life,” he said. “But I you saved mine first back there in the Crater so I was just repaying a debt.”

“Oh, right,” she said, remembering the battle with Helgarth and shuddering. “I guess we’re even.”

“Not quite,” Calix said and his eyes fell again on Lottie’s bandaged arm. Lottie understood. Somehow Calix blamed himself for her injuries. She wanted to comfort him but didn’t quite know what to say. Another uncomfortable silence followed. Eventually she spoke.

“Calix,” she said. “I think we got off on the wrong foot. What say we start over.”

“I-I’d like that,” he said.

“Good,” she said. She looked around and breathed in the salty sea air. “Where are we by the way?”

“The Southern Isles,” he said. “The southern most of the Southern Isles, actually.”

“Does it have a name?” she asked.

“No. Too small,” he said. “Agatha is the only one who lives here. Tomorrow we can take a walk and you’ll see how small it is.”

Lottie noticed the hopeful tone in his voice but decided to play coy. “Who does Agatha heal then, if she’s the only one here?”

Calix scooted close to Lottie and pointed vaguely northwesterly. Lottie couldn’t help noticing that he deliberately smelled her hair as he did so. She didn’t really mind because she was intrigued by the agreeably tropical scent coming from his.

“See those lights over there?” he said. “Those are Major Isles. They make up the archipelago where Agatha does most of her business.”

“I see,” she whispered. A moment passed in which they both stared at the archipelago and then Lottie sighed.

“What’s wrong?” said a perhaps too concerned Calix. “Is it your burns again?”

“Oh, no. Nothing like that,” she reassured him. “It’s just…I’ve never been this far from home before. There has always been a five mile radius on all rescue scenarios and kidnap situations.”

“How many of those have there been?” Calix asked.

“About two per year since I was eleven,” Lottie said. “Give or take.”

Calix’s jaw made a slight swishing sound as it struck the sand below him. After a moment of awkward staring he closed his mouth and said, “That seems excessive.”

“You get used to it,” Lottie shrugged. “Besides I’ve picked up some useful life experience from them, so it’s not all bad.”

“I’ll say,” Calix exclaimed. “The way you fought those dragons…I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Lottie blushed and was thankful that all that was left of the fire was smoke and ashes so Calix couldn’t see her cheeks redden. “Thanks,” she whispered.

For a while they sat in silence listening to the waves crash over the beach. Agatha’s wine had gotten the better of Godric and he now laid on his side with this limbs twitching ever so often as he dreamed of chasing butterflies. Agatha shook her head and stretched out beside him to look up at the stars. A cool breeze whipped in from the ocean and Lottie caught herself snuggling closer to Calix. Without thinking he wrapped his arm around her and instead of punching him in the nose, Lottie sighed and laid her head on his shoulder. This surprised them both and in order to break the tension Lottie asked him how long it would take them to get home.

“Four days,” he said. “Less if Godric consents to fly us there.”

“I hope he doesn’t,” she said. “I like the idea of having an adventure.”

“I’d hardly call this an adventure,” Calix said as he adjusted slightly to make himself more comfortable. His arm had fallen asleep but he didn’t want to remove it from Lottie’s shoulders. “Besides, don’t you miss your home?”

Lottie sat up and shook some of the sand out of her hair, untangling herself from Calix’s embrace in the process. Calix let out a disappointed sigh that he would have been mortified to know that Lottie had heard. “I don’t think you ever really miss home until you’ve been somewhere else for a long time,” she said.

“Oh. Right,” Calix said as he turned from her and hugged his knees. Lottie couldn’t see him, but she sensed that the boy was upset. She placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder and turned him to face her. “How long have you been away?” she asked him.

Calix cocked his head to the side and did some quick math in his head. “Almost six years,” he said at last.

Lottie’s jaw made a slight swishing sound as it struck the sand below her. After a few moments of awkward staring, she managed to choke out the word “Why?”

“I’m not sure there even is a home for me to return to,” Calix confessed and Lottie thought she saw the beginning of a tear glistening in the corner of his eye. Calix took a deep break and said, “My country was attacked by a neighboring kingdom we thought were our friends. I lost everything. My crown, my home…my family… My sisters were five and six years old.”

The tear slid down his face and Lottie knew better than to wipe it away. Instead she took Calix’s hand. “Are they…” Lottie whispered.

“I don’t know,” Calix said. “I hope so, but as far as I know I’m the only living member of the royal family. And even that in name only. I barely escaped with my horse and the clothes on my back.” He glanced around as if noticing the horse missing for the first time. “And now I seemed to have lost those as well.”

Lottie laughed. She couldn’t stop herself and immediately regretted it. As it turned out she wasn’t the only one who found it funny. Calix laughed. He wasn’t sure if he found his situation particularly humorous or if he was laughing at Lottie’s reaction, but he laughed nonetheless. They both laughed and for a few brief minutes they forgot about violent invasions and fire breathing dragons.

Thoughts and Actions During a Car Crash

The 2008 Ford Explorer barreled down the I-190N at 65 MPH. It was raining. Can’t be late getting Jack to (I-190N to 198E) tae-kwon-do. Sally’ll be pissed (Delaware exit, left [I wonder if I have time to make a quick sandwich.] on Delaware, quick right) if he’s late again. Hopefully they don’t punish (onto Nottingham. Yes, [I’m starving.] that’s the quickest route.) him again.

His foot pressed the gas pedal harder. His fingers played with the radio. Why does every radio station (Jack’s going to [I could go for a ham and turkey sub.] have to do push-ups) stop playing music after 5 o’clock? I just (and watch the entire [Maybe I’ll go while Jack’s busy with the lesson.] class. His teacher is such an) want to hear some music (asshole.).

Up ahead a car’s brake lights went on. Several others followed. He looked up and saw the chain of red coming toward his car. Oh shit. Shit shit shit. His foot quickly came off the gas and slammed the brake. Please God. Please stop. The 2008 Ford Explorer’s brakes locked, and the truck slid at 53 MPH.

Both of his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, turning his knuckles white. I love (What happens [Turn into the next lane, buy some time.] if my seatbelt doesn’t work?) you Sally. I love (Will the airbag break my nose?) you so much. He looked toward the passenger side-view mirror. A red sedan was in the middle lane. A train of traffic.

His eyes widened and his stomach sloshed queasily underneath his shirt. The muscles in his legs tensed. I’ll do anything to (The glass is going [Maybe turn into the guardrail. Limit the damage to yourself…] to cut my throat.) hold Jack again. He pulled the steering wheel to the left. The Explorer’s wheels turned, but the road was slick. It didn’t turn right away, only went straight toward the red lights ahead at 32 MPH. Just give him (Or the seatbelt will choke me to death.) a hug one more time.

He pushed himself deeper into his seat. He opened his mouth and sound waves reverberated from his throat: “Come on you fucking thing, turn!” I never got to say (The impact [I don’t want to die a murderer] will kill us both) goodbye to anyone. Will they miss me? Have I been good enough to them for that? The Explorer caught and turned toward the guardrail at 28 MPH. Good, goodgoodgood. We’re (Maybe I’ll survive this [I won’t hit whoever that is ahead of me…] after all) finally turning. He braced himself for the impact of the guardrail by tensing more, turning his head to his left, and closing his eyes. A 1997 Chevy Blazer came up behind him at 21 MPH.

The Explorer hit the guardrail going 24 MPH. More sound waves escaped his throat: A scream. The windshield cracked but did not break. The bumper hung limply from the truck’s front end. He was thrown forward into the airbag. His hands loosely played around his body. The Explorer bounced back into traffic.  He opened his eyes and looked around.

The Blazer hit the back driver side at 18 MPH. Plastic broke as it slammed into plastic. He again was thrown forward. Sonofabitch. Everything stopped.

He opened his eyes. I’m alive. I need to call Sally. The owner of the Blazer got out of his car and ran toward the Explorer. Other vehicles moved steadily forward. The owner of the Blazer approached the Explorer’s window and looked inside at the man.

He was crying. His muscles spasmed involuntarily. He shook. The owner of the Blazer knocked on the window, tapping quickly. He heard nothing. He saw nothing. He tasted blood from his split lip. His head hurt. I’m alive.

 

Princess Lottie Pt. 2

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Calix said an hour later as he tucked a couple of large apples into the bodice of Lottie’s gown. The dress fit remarkably well. A little too well, if Calix were to be completely honest with himself. A few locks from his horse’s tail had made a passable wig. The horse wasn’t at all thrilled with this though.

“You look very pretty, Calix.” Lottie and Godric snickered as she tightened Calix’s belt across her waist. Lottie looked and felt much more at home in Calix’s doublet and hose than he did in her vestments.

“This is humiliating,” Calix blushed.

“Welcome to my world,” Lottie said over her shoulder as she pulled herself into the saddle of Calix’s horse.

Calix adjusted his sleeves and watched Lottie try unsuccessfully to mount his horse. “I bet you’re just loving this,” he said as he helped her get her footing on the stirrup.

“Thanks,” she said kindly, plopping herself firmly in the saddle. “Everything but the codpiece.”

Calix smiled. “You have corsets, we have codpieces.”

Lottie laughed. Not long and heartily, but a short chuckle born from actual amusement. It surprised them both. They simply looked at each other for a moment then, slowly, Lottie spoke. “Calix, what did you mean when you said you knew what it was like to leave your home?”

“Oh, I…” Calix stuttered. Luckily, Godric saved him from having to finish the statement.

“It’s time,” Godric said thrusting his huge, spiny head between them. “Is everyone clear on the plan?”

“You fly through the clan with me to the Crater of Trials,” said Calix. “Drop me onto Blood Rock. After the matriarch acknowledges you and inspects the ‘princess’ she officially announces the start of the test.”

“Right,” said Godric. “And remember Helgarth is a real tough character. Just keep calm and let me do the talking during the inspection.”

“Are you sure I’ll pass?” worried Calix.

“You look pretty authentic to me,” said Lottie and then adjusted his apples.

“Let’s hope so,” Godric said. “She’s not a vegetarian.”

Calix made a valiant attempt to hide the crippling fear that slithered down his spine. To her credit, Lottie gave no sign that she could see him shaking beneath the yards of lace and velvet.

“She is almost completely blind though,” continued Godric. “So we should be fine.”

Calix gulped. “Right. Then Lottie thunders in on horseback and challenges you to a fight to the death. After a few minutes you ‘kill’ her and are pronounced a full-fledged member of the clan, and Lottie and I sneak out during the festivities. Simple enough. Why do they call it Blood Rock?”

Godric and Lottie both could only stare at him in amazement. “I think I’m going to be sick,” Calix said. And then he was.

“Feel better?” Lottie asked after he had pulled his head out of the bushes.

“No,” he said.

“First time’s always the worst,” Lottie said. “It gets easier.”

“What does?”

“Being in distress.” Calix smiled at her joke, but after looking at her knitted brow and pursed lips decided he had misinterpreted the comment.

“Ready?” she asked him.

“Not in the least,” he replied.

“Good,” she said. “That’ll make your performance more real. Godric?”

Godric snatched Calix from the ground before he had a chance to respond and threw them both into the sky.

 

***

Calix meant to have stern conversation with Godric about his aerial abilities when they landed, but any minor frights he had about flying were quickly replaced by soul killing terror of the Crater of Trials. To say that the Crater was massive would be an understatement. Calix had only a brief glimpse of Lottie’s castle, but he assumed that three of them could have easily fit into the arena-like structure.

The Crater of Trials was a mammoth bowl scooped out of the bare rock of the Iron Mountains. Jagged and vicious looking cliffs jutted out at improbable angles over bottomless depths. The walls of the arena were charred from dragons’ breath of Trials past. The ground, at least what Calix assumed was the ground, it was hard to tell from this high up, was blanketed by ash, half melted swords and shields, and the remains of human knights who had the honor of participating in the dragons’ rite of passage.

The place stank of sulfur and smoke. A loud buzzing sound reached Calix’s ears and he looked down to see a living blanket of flies the size of arrowheads swarming over the rotting remains of fallen knights. Calix heaved as he was carried over the carnage and was relieved that he was high enough not to see his partially digested breakfast splatter across a neat stack of blackened human skulls. None of this compared to Blood Rock.

In the exact center of the Crater loomed a smooth tower of soot black rock. It stood twenty feet tall and twenty feet across. At closer inspection Calix understood how it had gotten its name. Scarlet stripes ran down the tower like the legs of a fine wine twisting an intricate latticework towards the arena’s floor. Calix shuddered and, all too soon, was unceremoniously dropped on the top of Blood Rock. The wind howled around him sending his skirts and horsehair wig fluttering. He really missed his codpiece.

Godric flew around the circumference and came to a landing at the north side of the Crater sending bones and armor clattering for yards in every direction. The crater was deserted. Godric took a look around and, Calix couldn’t be sure, seemed to shiver at the emptiness. He took a deep breath, tossed back his head, and roared. A moment passed and nothing happened. Another moment and still nothing. Godric waited with baited breath for what felt like hours. Finally, across the Crater, the call was answered.

It started as one voice, then a second joined in. A third filled out the chord and soon the pit was filled with the roar of dragons. They came from every direction, unseen heralds of the great beasts. The cacophony was unlike anything heard by human ears. Deafening and terrifying, but undeniably beautiful. The haunting notes struck the Crater’s walls where they were thrown back to their owners after being distorted and amplified until the arena was filled with a symphony of sound. Had Calix not been using all of his mental powers to keep from soiling Lottie’s dress, he would have indeed described it as spectacular. Then, the first dragon showed itself.

A great flapping was heard as the monstrous beast descended from the heavens and came with a crash to the rim of the Crater. More followed. Some came from the sky. Some writhed through the cracks in the arena floor. Some pulled themselves along the walls of the crater. From every direction they came. Each one alighting itself along the edge of the Crater to watch the Trial until the rim resembled a glittering crown fit for the most unapologetically wealthy monarch.

The Crater sparkled with reds, flaming oranges and yellows, icy blues, and deep violets you could get lost in. Every color imaginable was represented on the dragons’ leathery hides. They would be beautiful if their luster hadn’t come with foot long serrated spikes and talons that could tear flesh from bone in seconds flat. And the teeth! The teeth were sharp too.

The dragons, once in position, ended their song and for a while nothing happened. The silence stretched out over the Crater until the last echoing strains of the dragonsong faded, then one of the dragons, a bronze colored one with a wicked scar across its left eye and a sizable hole in its right wing, began stomping its foot. It added a chant with each stomp and the cliffs echoed with the noise. The chant and stomping was slowly picked up by the other dragons. The rhythm sped up and the chanting got louder until Calix feared his eardrums might explode. As quickly as it had begun, the chanting and stomping ceased and Helgarth presented herself.

Anyone who saw Godric would assume that he was a large dragon. This is mainly because not many people have witnessed a Dragon Matriarch and Dragon Matriarchs do not attain such a position by merely being large. Comparing Godric to Helgarth would be like comparing a Shetland pony to a Clydesdale. Helgarth towered head and shoulders over every dragon on the rim. She yawned revealing an abyss of teeth the size of broadswords and stretched her wings, plunging the Crater into darkness. Her scales, the color of smoky quartz, were pockmarked with scars, holes, and smooth burn marks. Helgarth was old. Impossibly old and her joints ached with arthritis. Her spikes were chipped and broken, some missing entirely and her wings were a spider web of varicose veins. Her eyes, huge and deep, were glazed over with a milky substance that cause them to spasm every once and a while of their own accord. When she spoke her voice was akin to someone dragging a dying mule across a dry riverbed.

“Godric? Godric have you returned with your prize?” she called out to the assembly.

“I have, Mother,” Godric called back.

“Mother?!” Calix shouted, unable to control himself. Fortunately, the height of Blood Rock made it impossible for any of the dragons to hear him. As such, he was allowed to keep his limbs.

Helgarth growled a low growl and descended into the pit. Calix may have been imagining things, but could have sworn he heard the vertebrae in her neck creak as she raised her head to the top of Blood Rock. He was thankful that the ancient Matriarch was blind or she would have clearly seen the sweat beading on his brow. Her milky eye twitched and throbbed and Calix held his breath. Helgarth brought her cavernous nostrils over to Calix and inhaled. Calix had to hold tight to his wig or risk it being torn from his head and into Helgarth’s sinuses as she took in his scent. She sneezed and almost tore Blood Rock apart in doing so.

“That’s a princess all right,” she said. “I must say I’m impressed, Godric. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Thank you, Mother,” Godric groveled.

“And the hero?” Helgarth began to circle her son intimidatingly.

“A p-p-p-prince,” Godric stammered.

Helgarth laughed, Calix’s heart iced over, and Godric tried to keep from shaking.

“You can barely say it, hatchling!” scoffed Helgarth. “How do you plan to defeat your p-p-prince?”

“B-b-by tooth and claw and flame,” replied Godric with his head hung. “And I’m not a hatchling mother.”

Helgarth roared a roar that shook the very foundations of the mountains. “Do not talk back to me, Godric!”

“I am sorry, M-M-Mother,” Godric was just able to get out.

Helgarth leaned in close to Godric so only he could hear her. “Sass me again, son, and hatchling or not I will tear you apart.”

“Y-y-y-yes, Mother.”

Helgarth turned, joints screaming with arthritis, to face her clan. “Godric has retrieved a princess! His hero is on his way! Let the Trial begin!” she said. The dragons bellowed their assent. Calix couldn’t help noticing that dragons apparently took any available opportunity to roar.

“Do not disappoint me, Godric,” whispered Helgarth, as she ascended to the rim of the Crater.

The dragons waited for a prince to come galloping in and rescue Godric’s princess. After twenty minutes of waiting they became restless. Murmurs of the clan buzzed around the Crater and Helgarth’s sigh was enough to send shivers down Godric’s spine. The dragons huffed and tut tutted under their breath, Godric took to pacing the perimeter of the Crater, and Calix, having nothing better to do, took a nap. When Godric’s prince hadn’t arrived after a full forty five minutes Helgarth spoke.

“Your p-p-p-prince is late hatchling,” she sneered at her son.

Godric opened his mouth to respond but all that came out was a sound not unlike that of a heavy stone door swinging open on rusty hinges, which is exactly what it was. Every head turned towards the south facing gate as it slowly crept open.

“My god that’s a heavy door!” Lottie said squeezing herself and the horse into the Crater of Trials. She took in the scenery and promptly froze to see an entire clan of dragons staring her down.

“Is he here,” said Helgarth to the black dragon on her left. The dragon nodded then, remembering that Helgarth was blind, added a vocal affirmation. “Finally,” she said stretching out her neck. “Well, hatchling, let’s see what you’re made of. Go on Godric. Kill him!”

Godric winked at Lottie and then began circling her. When he was within her earshot he whispered, “Make it look convincing.” Lottie nodded, mounted her horse, and charged at Godric.

True to her word Lottie made it very lifelike, slashing and stabbing like a seasoned knight.  Godric did his best to doge the blows but a few of them landed. Lottie’s sword tore through Godric’s skin above his right eye. Blood spurted from the slash and Godric tossed his head away. “Not that convincing,” he hissed.

“Sorry,” Lottie apologized. “Knock me off my horse.”

Not needing to be told twice, Godric snapped his jaws at Lottie. She avoided them and took another swipe at him. This time, Godric ducked and whipped his tail around to throw both Lottie and the horse across the arena. The horse was not having a great day.

Godric was on her before she could stop the world from spinning. He snapped again and again and each time Lottie blocked his teeth with the flat of her sword so as not to cause any further injuries. Thought the battle was fake, Calix had to admire Lottie’s fighting skill. Apparently she’d picked up a few things from all the other princes that had rescued her in the past. She was good. Very good. Almost better than him, though he’d never tell her. Still, there was something about the way the muscles in Lottie’s arms rippled when she hefted his sword over her head that made Calix’s heart bang against his ribs. He crept to the edge of the rock to get a closer look.

Lottie and Godric moved like dancers through an intricate ballet of blood and violence. They lunged, parried, attacked, and withdrew each in turn. Neither gaining an upper hand. It was a beautiful display. Unfortunately the dragons of the Iron Mountain Clan cared little for beauty. They wanted blood, and they were getting restless. “Stop playing with him and finish it, Godric!” Helgarth bellowed.

“Ready for the coup de grace?” Lottie asked so only Godric could hear.

The dragon nodded his green head and Lottie let out a battle cry that would put the hardest warrior to shame and charged. Godric roared, shrugged off her attack, and took off into the sky taking Lottie with him. He flew in an arc around the Crater with Lottie dangling like a rag doll. The dragons roared in delight. Godric’s heart swelled with pride for the first time in his life. He chanced a look at his mother and nearly dropped Lottie when he saw, or imagined, her smiling at him. Well, in the vicinity of him. That heartwarming moment was brought to a crashing halt when Lottie drove the sword into space between Godric’s second and third toe. Pain shot through Godric’s leg and he lost his grip on the princess.

As luck would have it, Godric just so happened to be hovering over Blood Rock when he dropped Lottie, and Calix once again found himself breaking her fall.

“You have got to stop doing that,” Calix said dragging himself out from under Lottie.

Lottie grunted and pulled herself to her feet. “Relax,” she said. “Everything is under control.”

She looked across the rock to where Godric had crashed. He was lying in a twisted mass of wings and limbs. He righted himself and took a cautious step toward Lottie.

“That really hurt, Lottie,” he said wincing at the pain.

“Sorry,” she said humbly. “I’ve never fought a dragon before. I guess I got carried away. It’s very exciting.”

“Hardly the word I would use,” said Calix.

The dragons waited on the edge of their seats. Godric threw them a look and then tore the sword out of his foot. Almost casually he tossed it over the edge. It made a slight ping sound as it struck the arena floor a couple of minutes later. The dragons roared their approval and Lottie wasn’t at all pleased with the sinking feeling she got in her stomach.  Godric took out Lottie’s feet with his tail and was pinning her to the stone the minute she touched the ground.

All at once Lottie felt the air being crushed from her lungs as Godric’s claw slammed into her chest like a safe. Godric threw back his head and roared in triumph. The other dragons soon joined.

“Well done, Godric!” said Helgarth silencing the clan. “Now eat him.”

Godric almost snapped Lottie’s ribs. “B-b-but, Mother, I don’t-“ Godric stammered.

“I’ve had enough of your vegetarian nonsense,” Helgarth said. “Now eat the damn prince like a real dragon!”

There was no questioning Helgarth’s tone. Godric looked back and forth from his mother, to Lottie, to Calix, and back to his mother. He shrugged, gave Lottie an apologetic whimper, and then swallowed her whole.

“No!” yelled Calix. He tried to prevent it, but was too late. Helgarth laughed a sinister laugh deep in her dusty throat.

“Dragons of the Iron Mountains Clan,” she began. “My son Godric has completed his Trial and I am pleased to present him as a full member of our community! Godric, have you anything to say?”

Godric opened his mouth to speak, but instead of words, Lottie, and a fair amount of bile, came splattering out.

“I guess he really is a vegetarian,” was all she had to say.

“That is so gross,” Calix elaborated.

“We’re in trouble,” Godric said, still a little queasy.

All three statements were true although, Godric’s proved to be the most pressing.

There was a collective gasp from the clan followed by three minutes of silence as one of the dragons relayed the events to Helgarth, then an ear splitting screech as she threw herself toward Blood Rock.

Godric’s heart was yanked into his throat and his eyes nearly jumped out of his skull as he saw his mother barreling toward him.

“Time to go,” he said. He quickly grabbed Lottie and Calix, opened his wings, and leaped off of Blood Rock seconds before Helgarth slammed into it.

The Crater of Trials vibrated as all of Helgarth’s considerable weight ripped Blood Rock from its foundations. The rock exploded, sending sharp, jagged pieces sailing through the air in every direction. All around them, heavy boulders rained down threatening a very painful death at any moment. Luckily Godric proved to be quite the aerial acrobat and twisted and turned to avoid each fragment if not with ease, then certainly with style. All this was, of course, very impressive until Helgarth clasped Godric’s tail in her jaws and threw him to the ground.

Godric, Lottie, and Calix flew in three separate directions across the crater. Lottie found herself sliding to a halt amidst a clutter of discarded armor and scorched bones. She immediately rolled to her right to avoid a smattering of debris plummeting toward her, stood, and surveyed her surroundings. All around her, rocks bit into the earth like a starving man would bite into a steak. A thick cloud of dust had settled across the arena floor and she could just barely make out Calix’s figure rushing toward her. He’d lost his wig and the dress was in tatters but he seemed to be in one piece.

“Are you okay?” he shouted once he reached her.

“A little scraped up, but all right,” she replied. “You?”

“I’d be better if I didn’t have this thing flapping around my ankles and tripping me up while trying to run for my life,” he said tearing off about three feet of delicate lace from his dress.

“Tell me about it,” Lottie said. “Where’s Godric?”

Calix pointed to the dragon’s unconscious silhouette several hundred yards from them. Lottie didn’t like the look of the purple bruises swelling above Godric’s eye, or the steady stream of blood issuing from his nostrils.

“Come on,” she said grabbing Calix by the arm and tearing across the arena. “We’ve got to help him.”

Calix and Lottie ran through the now settling dust cloud to the sleeping dragon. There was an odd moment just before they reached him when the sky went dark. Providing the same effect as a solar eclipse, Helgarth swooped low over them and dropped to the ground nearly on top of them. The resulting impact knocked both Calix and Lottie off their feet. Calix’s horse, who had somehow managed to survive the destruction of Blood Rock decided that it had had enough excitement for one day and proceeded with haste out of the same gateway it had entered.

Lottie and Calix gingerly rose to their feet.

“Don’t move a muscle,” Lottie told Calix through gritted teeth. “Hopefully, if we don’t make any noise, she won’t know we’re here.”

Lottie’s assumption was true. Helgarth had no idea where they were, or indeed where she was. Her blindness and her face to face meeting with Blood Rock had disoriented her. She was lost, confused, and, worst of all, angry. She tossed her head back and forth, sniffing the air in attempt to catch their scent. Lottie and Calix held their breath. Helgarth could find no trace of them and howled with rage causing Calix and Lottie to clasp their hands over their ears to keep from going deaf.

After a moment, Helgarth ceased her howling, and lowered her head. Taking a deep breath she opened her jaws. A wave of unpleasant odors like those of rotting meat and lamp oil threatened to overwhelm Lottie and Calix swooned at the smell.

“Oh no,” said Lottie, looking for something with which to protect them.

“What?” said Calix.

Lottie’s eyes landed on tarnished shield on which Calix was practically standing.

“Hand me that shield,” she barked at him. Calix did as he was told, though he still didn’t understand why. “What are you doing?” he said.

Lottie wrenched the shield from his grasp and then threw him to the ground.

“Stay behind me” she ordered lugging the heavy piece of wood and metal over her head.

Helgarth exhaled and a jet of white hot fire spewed out of her mouth. The flames slammed into Lottie’s shield and plumed around it like water breaking over a stone. The heat was almost too much to bear. Lottie’s knees buckled and the shield combusted and began to melt. The air around her was smothering and her head swam with lack of oxygen. She could feel the shield liquefying as the molten steel dripped steadily onto the ground. The smell of roasting meat wafted into her nostrils and suddenly, she was all too aware that the skin on her left arm seared and crisped.

Lottie gritted her teeth as she fought back tears of pain, but the dragon fire showed no sign of slowing. She cast a terrified glance to Calix and was not comforted to see her own fear reflected back at her. She was just about to resign herself to her fiery death when she spotted Calix’s sword at her feet. Grabbing the hilt and whispering a prayer to anyone who would listen she hurled the weapon through the flames.

The sword glowed an unseemly red and burst into flames as it sped through the inferno. It struck Helgarth in her craggy face, burying itself deep in her eye socket. There was a loud pop as the sword pierced the dead eye and the dragonfire stopped.  Helgarth roared in pain, taking out still more of the Crater’s structure. She clawed at the sword but only succeeded in tracing deep slashes in her own face. Blood mixed with fire and she rolled over the ground which only drove the sword deeper into her eye.

“That was amazing!” Calix said slapping Lottie on the back.

She didn’t have a chance to enjoy his compliment. The pain in her arm grew to be too much. Cradling the ruined limb she dropped into Calix’s arms. Calix did his best to wake her but it was difficult with an angry, blind, and possibly mortally wounded dragon thundering around. He did manage to drag her over to Godric.

“Godric! Godric, you have to wake up,” Calix pleaded. Godric remained unmovable. Calix sighed, took a page from Lottie’s book, and slapped the green dragon.

Godric woke with a start. “What happened? Was I asleep?”

“You were unconscious,” said Calix. “We have to get out of here. Lottie is hurt. Can you fly?”

Godric stood and stretched out his wings. “Yeah, I think I can. Nothing feels broken. Is it hot in here?”

Yes. It was hot. Helgarth had lost control of her breath and was now blowing fire all around the Crater without bias. Liquid fire spilt from her quivering jowls and splashed over the rocks. The Crater was quickly turning into a sea of molten rock. The walls were deteriorating and sliding into the growing pools of lava. The entire bowl was coming apart at the seams. With a great crack the whole structure split in half toppling a few of the dragons with slower reaction times into the boiling soup.

“We’re leaving,” Godric said. He clutched Calix and Lottie to his chest and took off.

The sky was full of glittering dragons and smoke. The dragons were angry. The smoke was indifferent. All around them the dragons bit, clawed, and snapped at Godric and his companions. He rolled, dove, and did his best to fend off his attackers while his mother was buried under crumbling rocks and her own fire far below him.

Godric flew fast and hard with his own clan swarming around him. They were quickly leaving the mountains. Soon the slate grey rock gave way to crashing blue waves of the Southern Sea. Godric’s wings burned from strain and the thousands of minor injuries inflicted by his own clan. Thankfully the sea marked the Clan’s border. They wouldn’t follow him past it. Of course he had had a large hand in the destruction of their home. Not to mention the probable death of their leader which just so happened to be his own mother, so all bets were off.

As it turned out, the dragons didn’t follow him, not that Godric would have known that. He kept flying for an hour before fatigue got the better of him and the three of them fell out of the sky and into the sea.

 

The Rise of “Insert Superhero Name Here”

“Do you think someone could be a superhero in real life? I mean, do you think it’s possible to be done for real?” She sat down to think about it. “I think someone tried to be one in the 80’s”. “Well, what happened to them”, I asked. He fell off a building and landed headfirst onto a fire hydrant, but I suppose other wackos have tried it”, she said. “So, it has been tried. I wonder how many crimes he stopped, or how many arch nemeses he had, or if he was part of a justice league or a similar organization”.

I got up to look out the window and at the sprawling city skyline. I thought of an internal soliloquy appropriate for this moment like: “who was the scoundrel who decided to build a city on the backs of stolen dreams… and iPods”.

“You would just have to not land headfirst onto a fire hydrant”, she said.

“The only hard part would be finding out where the bad guys were and figuring out where they keep their stolen goods”, I said to no one. “That, and making an outfit”, she said. “Cape or no cape” I asked. “Definitely cape…OH, you would need a name, too”. “I think I could leave that responsibility to the press. That’s how Batman got his name, and he’s the best”. Neither of us said anything for a while. Clearly the conversation had lost momentum. “I’m getting kind of tired”, she said. “I think I’ll turn in”. “OK, I’m not tired at all. I think I’ll go for a walk”, I said.

“Are you gonna get a new iPod, she asked.

“Maybe”.

I walked down the street, looking into all the shop windows. “Where do you go to buy a cape? Barnes & Noble? Marshalls? Definitely Marshalls”.

Princess Lottie Pt. 1

Charlotte, or Lottie to those who knew her well, was a princess of Luracand. As such, she had been brought up with all the conventional training such a position necessitates. By age twelve she had mastered the art of attracting woodland creatures to her person using only her voice. She had built up an immunity to most know poisons so the only harm done to her was a couple months sleep. She was well versed in certain spells that pertain to young princesses, knew to stay away from gingerbread cottages, and never accepted any sort of fruit from old peddler women. She had read the stories, practiced various rescue scenarios, kissed every frog in the kingdom, and knew exactly how many times to bat her long eyelashes to get whatever she wanted in any given situation.

By all accounts and purposes Lottie was a perfectly acceptable princess except for one thing. Lottie had no interest in marriage. In fact, she had never looked at the same handsome prince twice. Her father, the king, grew increasingly worried about this particular detail when her sixteenth birthday came and went without a betrothal. There had been dozens of viable princes over the years. Each one had lifted some spell or another, endured harsh climates, and rescued the Lottie from witches, goblins, and once, a very pushy insurance salesman, and yet the princess remained indifferent.  Lottie much preferred the princes to recount their actions, in painstaking detail, than to ask for her hand. Her father blamed this attitude partially on a certain fairy he had once offended, and on Lottie’s complete misinterpretation of classic fairy tales.

The king grew more and more despondent as the years ticked by and offered an enormous dowry and half his lands to anyone who was able to win his daughter’s heart. One day Luracand was visited by a prince from a far distant kingdom. A prince no more handsome than the rest, but twice as charming.  The prince in question was Prince Calix and was, strictly speaking, only a prince in name. Calix’s homeland had had a violent political revolution in the past year or so. As it stood now, he just so happened to be the only living member of the royal family, flat broke, and a bit of a drifter. For now, he wandered from kingdom to kingdom slaying the occasional dragon and seducing the odd princess, courtier, and duchess as he happened upon them. Sensing an opportunity after hearing of the king’s desperate offer, Calix decided to woo the young princess.

He found her in a spectacularly manicured garden standing in the knee deep water of a reflecting pool and skipping rocks across its surface. To her knowledge, she was quite alone, so it came as something of a surprise when she heard a masculine throat being cleared from a vaguely behind her direction.

“You must be Lottie,” said Calix, dodging a smooth stone suddenly sailing past his head. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“I am Lottie,” she said, “To those who know me well. Most refer to me as Charlotte at the first meeting. As far as frightening me, don’t flatter yourself. Although I am sorry about the stone. You should know better than to sneak up on people in mid swing.”

“Ah, I apologize. Let me introduce myself,” said Calix.

“No need,” said Lottie, skipping another stone. “You are without a doubt the latest in a long list of handsome princes coming to ask for my hand in marriage. As I am not interested in marrying you, I need not know your name.”

“You think I’m handsome,” he said.

“I hadn’t noticed,” she said. “I just assumed.”

“You assumed correctly,” said Calix. “On both accounts. I am the handsome prince who has come to marry you.”

“Better men than you have tried and failed.”

“If there is such a man he should be hanged for slander.”

Lottie took another stone and skipped it three times across the pond.

“You certainly think quite highly of yourself prince-“

“Calix,” he replied skipping a stone four times across the pond. “And in time you shall think as highly of me as I do.”

“I doubt it sir. There is nothing to set you apart from the dozen or so princes who have come before you,” Lottie said as she turned to go. “It was lovely meeting you, but I’m afraid your quest for a marriage was unfruitful. Unless you care to wed my father. He has been so very lonely since mother died.”

“I really think if you give it a chance, you might quite like to marry me,” Calix replied as he moved to stop her from leaving. “Why, I’m sure that in two days’ time we could have a cake baked, guests invited, and two hundred red roses lining the walls of your local church. Roses are a particular favorite of mine, and two hundred is something of a lucky number for me.”

“Unfortunately sir,” Lottie began, “I care nothing about the number two hundred, and as far as flowers go, I much prefer lilies.”

Once more she made to leave, but the prince blocked her way.

“Let me pass, sir.”

“Come, Lottie,” he said. The number may be negotiated, but I really feel if you give them a chance, the roses can be quite pleasant.”

“Prince Calix, you may remove yourself from my path, or I can do it for you. The choice is yours.”

“It is a personal philosophy of mine to never do for myself what others may do for me,” said Calix with a flash of his gleaming white teeth.

“Suit yourself,” she said, rolling him over her shoulder and into the water behind her.  A moment’s satisfaction was quickly replaced by shock, contempt, and then shock again as she found her feet flying out from under her and her head pitched into the chilly water.

“You throw like a man!” Calix said slinging water from his brow.

“Wish I could say the same for you,” said Lottie, as she freed her face from the soggy tendrils of hair that clung to it.

“That’s a little uncalled for, Lottie.”

“And manhandling me wasn’t?” she spat.

“Well, to be fair” began Calix. “You did start it.”

If Lottie had a reply, it was cut short by her abrupt and unexpected abduction by a large green dragon.  The beast appeared out of nowhere and snatched Lottie up in its great scaly claws. After the initial shock, Calix wasted no time in drawing his sword and attacking blindly. His first slash caught the dragon across the snout and Calix let out a laugh. The dragon was less amused. It snorted and whipped its tail around to knock the erstwhile prince off his feet before taking once more to the air. Calix took a moment to catch his breath and then mounted his horse and took off after the monster.

The dragon flew high over the castle walls with Calix right on its heels. Once it had cleared the ramparts, the dragon climbed higher in in the sky until it resembled a small glittering emerald. Calix tore through the castle gates and across the gardens. From what he could tell, the dragon appeared to be making for the woods at the foot of the Iron Mountains. It reached the woods just before the prince. The dense cypress trees slowed the creature a little. Calix took and arrow from his quiver and released it from his bow. The bolt slid through the air in much the same way as a cat wouldn’t, and buried itself deep in the dragon’s left wing.

The wing crumpled like a deflated circus tent and both dragon and princess dropped from the sky. A swirling vortex of scales and skirts crashed through the forest’s canopy until at last the heaving bulk of the great lizard plowed into the clearing below. Calix dismounted and fitted another arrow in his bow as he crept between the trees with about as much stealth as the dragon itself. The dragon in question sat with its wing stretched out on a soft bed of moss. At the moment the beast was attempting, unsuccessfully, to pull the shaft out. As such it was a little preoccupied with the blood pooling at the site of the wound and didn’t notice the prince’s arrival. Lottie did.

“Put that thing away before you hurt someone,” she said, as Calix pulled the bowstring taught.

Calix nearly snapped the bow in half at the sound of her voice. He looked around for its source but couldn’t find the princess.

“Up here,” she said from the nearest tree.

Calix glanced up to find Lottie suspended from a high branch by her long skirts. “What are you doing up there,” he asked.

“The dragon dropped me after you took out its wing,” said Lottie.

“That hardly seem like a dignified place for a princess,” Calix said.

Lottie snorted and then began unlacing her bodice. “I’d be down there with you if not for this infernal dress,” she said. “Lace is snagged on a branch. Useless things. I’d much rather wear a tunic and breeches any day.”

“Be grateful,” Calix replied. “It probably saved your life.”

“My life wouldn’t have needed saving if you hadn’t been so eager start shooting at anything that moved.”

“That thing was trying to eat you!”

“How could it have possibly eaten me?” she said as she shimmied out of her gown. “It would have had to put me down first.”

“What are you doing?” Calix asked when he noticed that Lottie was disrobing.

“I can’t very well get out of this tree in that gown now can I?”

Calix’s face reddened and he turned his back to the princess. “You mean to say you’re going to climb down in your undergarments?”

“Precisely”

“But that’s,” he searched for the right word. “Indecent.”

Lottie sighed and then rolled her eyes. Which proved to be a poor decision as in doing so she only managed to tangle herself further in the dress. “Oh please. Have you ever seen a woman’s undergarments? We wear more under our clothes than any man does in his entire ensemble.”

“I could give you a hand if you wish,” huffed Calix.

“If you want to help,” Lottie said as she kicked the yards of heavy fabric away from her body, “then keep your voice down. We don’t want to draw attention ourselves. Whoops.”

It is a little known fact that most shoes specifically made for princesses are better suited for masque balls than climbing trees. Had this information be readily available, Lottie might have been more judicious in where she placed her foot. It came as quite a shock to both of them when Lottie was lowering herself from branch to branch one minute and tumbling down on top of Calix the next. The overall effect was the same as if someone had thrown a cannonball through a church window at midnight.

“Do you think the dragon heard that?” Calix wondered from somewhere below Lottie’s left knee.

“Of course I heard you, you twit. Between the two of you bickering and the female snapping what I can only assume was every branch and possibly a bone as it fell out of the tree, I’d be surprised if there was a creature in this wood who wasn’t aware of the situation,” said the dragon.

It was at that time that Calix’s horse fainted from shock. Calix and Lottie were a bit taken back as well. After a moment or two of stuttering, Calix finally found his voice. “You can talk,” he said. Not the most intelligent of comments, but true none the less.

“Of course I can talk,” said the dragon.

“But,” began Calix. “You’re a dragon.”

The dragon snorted out a puff of smoke as it rolled its eyes. “It was the scales and wings that gave me away wasn’t it?”

“And the princess kidnapping,” replied Lottie cordially.

The dragon nodded its head in agreement. “Hang on,” said Calix. “I didn’t know dragons could talk.”

“And how many dragons have you met then?” Neither Calix nor Lottie replied as the dragon fixed them with its yellow eyes, gave a small chuckle, and then turned his attention to the arrow stuck in its wing. “Exactly,” it said.

Lottie turned to Calix and shrugged. “He has a point,” she said. “My name is Charlotte, Princess of Luracand. Lottie to my friends.”

“Godric,” the dragon said. “And the boy?”

“Man,” Calix corrected.

“Oh, that’s Calix,” said Lottie.

“I wonder, Lottie,” began Godric, “If you would mind removing this arrow from my shoulder. It twinges quite a bit.”

“Sure,” Lottie said as she strode across the clearing.

“What are you doing?” shouted Calix as he unceremoniously grabbed her by the arm.

Lottie shook herself free from his grasp and turned to face him. “Well Calix I am going to retrieve your arrow.”

“He tried to eat you!”

“I did not!” retorted Godric indignantly.

“Oh Calix relax,” Lottie said as she crossed the clearing. “I can take care of myself.” She hoisted herself onto Godric’s back and crawled upwards to the wound being very careful to dodge the spikes. “Now, this might sting a bit.”

“I really don’t think this is a good idea,” said Calix bravely keeping his distance from Godric’s jaws.

“I have removed an arrow from someone’s body before Calix. “ She grasped the bolt firmly in both hands. “Ready, Godric? On the count of three. One. Two. Three!” She pulled with all her might and the arrow came free with a sound that could only be described as a “squelch.”

Before she had time to react, Godric threw his body across the clearing and sent Lottie once more careening into Calix.

“Now look what you’ve done,” Calix said after breaking Lottie’s fall. “You’ve angered it.”

“He, Calix. Don’t be rude, “ she said watching the poor dragon hop around the forest in pain, knocking down many trees, and generally making a ruckus. “And he wouldn’t be nearly as angry if you hadn’t shot him in the first place.”

“I was trying to save you.”

“Oh good, a new experience for me,” Lottie spat at him. “You princes are all the same. You always assume that just because a girl gets carried off by a dragon, or locked in a tower, or enchanted by an old hag that she needs some handsome prince to come and rescue her!”

Calix flashed his toothiest smile. “I knew you thought I was handsome.”

“We’re done here. Godric!” Lottie stormed away from Calix and walked towards the dragon who had gone from hopping from one foot to the other to lying flat on his back, wings akimbo, and whimpering slightly.

“Godric, calm down,” Lottie said soothingly.

“I’m dead. I’m dead, I died. I’m dead.” Large tears welled in Godric’s eyes and slid down his face.

“Lottie, come away from the crying dragon,” Calix said cautiously.

“ I’m not crying!” Godric bellowed through his tears. “It’s my allergies. They act up awful this time of year.”

Lottie sighed and bent down next to Godric’s head. “Godric get up. You’re fine. It’s barely a scratch.”

“No it isn’t. I’m dying,” he said.

“No you’re not Godric.”

“Yes I am!” He clutched his heart and thrashed around on the ground again. “This is it. I’m dying! Oh what a cruel way to go! Goodbye all. Thus ends Godric the dragon!”

“Godric!” yelled Lottie balling up her fist. “Snap out of it!” She reared back and socked him in the snout. Hard. Godric stopped whining after that.

“You just punched a dragon in the face!” Calix said in awe.

“And it hurt like the devil!” Lottie wrung out her hand and tried to massage some feeling back into it. “But you don’t see me making a spectacle of myself. Now get up Godric! You’re not even bleeding.”

“I’m not?” he asked, genuinely surprised.

“No, dear you’re not,” Lottie reassured him.

“Oh, right then.” He rolled over and pulled himself up into a sitting position. “Sorry to make such a fuss.”

“That’s okay,” Lottie said and sidled up to him. “Now would you mind telling me why you tried to kidnap me?”

Calix rolled his eyes and stomped across the clearing. “He’s a dragon Lottie. He doesn’t need a reason. That’s what they do!”

Godric gave a hollow rumble deep in his throat and buried his head in his wing. Lottie had never heard a dragon cry before, but it was oddly disconcerting. “Calix!” she said. “You are being very rude to poor Godric. Look you made him cry.”

“He abducted you!” Calix snapped. “I hardly think his feelings are at the top of our concerns.”

Lottie shrugged. “I’m sure it was all some sort of misunderstanding.”

“What’s to misunderstand?” said Calix. “He’s a dragon, you’re a princess. Such is the way of the world.”

“What a remarkably narrow view of the world,” said Lottie.

“No, no, he’s right.” Godric’s voice was slightly muffled by his wing. He was still a dragon though so no one really noticed.

“So you abducted me simply because I’m a princess?” Lottie asked bewildered.

“Yes and no,” said Godric.

“Yes and no?” wondered Calix.

The dragon thought a moment then said, “Well not no. Mostly yes.” Calix chortled and gave Lottie a self-satisfied grin.

“You see,” began Godric, “When a dragon comes of age he is required by his clan to find a princess and bring her to his lair before he or she can be officially recognized as an adult.”

“What a strange ritual,” said Calix. Lottie glared at him.

“No stranger than being forced to marry to prove your worth,” she said.

“And I’ve failed my test,” wailed Godric. “I’ll never be able to show my face at the clan again. I’ll be shunned. Cast out. Be forced to live in the foothills with the griffins!”

Godric collapsed in sobs. Great salty tears splashed from his eyes, soaking the ground.

“I’m sure it can’t be that bad,” said Calix.

“Have you ever met a griffin?” shouted Godric.

Calix and Lottie both had to admit that they hadn’t. According to Godric they were quite annoying and self-important.

“What am I going to do?” wondered Godric. The sobs were growing louder now and the hiccups had started. “I’m facing exile. If I don’t deliver you to the ritual grounds by noon tomorrow I’ll be cast out of the clan. Forced to leave my home. Do you know what that’s like?”

Lottie shook her head, but Calix knew all too well what leaving one’s home was like. All of a sudden he felt a great wave of sympathy for the soggy creature before him. Unable to explain exactly why and against his better judgment Calix approached Godric and placed a shaking hand on his head. He stroked the dragon’s face for a moment and then offered his cape to dry Godric’s tears. Godric wiped his eyes clear and blew his nose which scorched a flaming hole through the once expensive fabric. Calix sighed and tossed the cape to the forest floor as Lottie watched the prince comfort the dragon genuinely bewildered.

“I may have an idea what that’s like,” Calix said at last. “Maybe we can help.”

“What?” Lottie said, stunned.

“Well,” said Calix, “You just have to abduct the princess and present her to the clan correct?”

“That’s it,” sniffled Godric.

“And you don’t have to eat her right?”

“Oh no, of course not,” Godric said defensively. “I’m a vegetarian.”

Calix briefly wondered about the daily life of a vegetarian dragon but quickly pushed the thought aside.

“What if you…borrowed Lottie for long enough to complete the test?”

“That…” thought Godric. “Might actually work.”

“Wait a minute,” piped Lottie. “I didn’t agree to any of this!”

“Oh come on, Lottie” said Calix. “What else have you got to do today?”

Lottie crossed her arms and fumed. “Getting carried off to a dragon stronghold is not my ideal way to spend the afternoon.”

“The ritual grounds are hardly a stronghold,” offered Godric.

“Please, Godric” said Calix with an assertive wave of his hand. “We’re trying to have a conversation over here.”

Godric hung his head and slunk against a tree.

“Calix this is not the idea of a sane person,” Lottie said.

“Where’s your spirit of adventure, Lottie?” Calix goaded her. “What’s the matter? Afraid of breaking a nail?”

Lottie didn’t like how quickly he had found exactly the right button to push. He had proposed the challenge and she’d never be able to look him in the eye if she didn’t accept.

“All you have to do is present me to the clan?” she asked Godric.

“That’s it,” he said. “Well, and defeat Calix in battle when he comes to rescue you.”

“Wait a second!” Calix yelped.

Lottie laughed at the squeaky tone of his voice. “Well now, what an interesting twist to this story.”

Calix was pacing back and forth now with barely contained anxiety. “That was never part of the original plan, Godric.”

“So I left out a small detail,” he shrugged.

“A small detail? A small detail?” Calix quickened his pacing. “Me losing my life in a battle against a dragon with low self-esteem is not a small detail. That’s a pretty crucial plot point!”

“Oh come on, Calix. Where’s your spirit of adventure,” Lottie smiled as she threw down the gauntlet.

“Easy for you to say,” shot back Calix. “All you have to do is sit back and enjoy the show. You don’t have fight and lose to a giant fire breathing reptile.”

Godric coughed to get their attention. “I may not actually have to defeat you. I just need the clan to believe I did.”

“Still yet,” said Calix uneasily.

“If you are unwilling to stage a fight with Godric,” said Lottie staring up into the tree she had fallen out of. “There may be another way.”

Calix and Godric followed her gaze into the tree. Calix’s eyes widened in horror. “Oh, most certainly not!” he said. Godric only laughed as he plucked Lottie’s gown from the branches.

The Wake pt V

“So, why are you helping me?” I asked Shepherd, the two of us walking for several minutes with nothing said, our surrounding now the heavy foliage, the woods where darkness seemed to linger, and the unnerving silence was overwhelming. He wasn’t speaking, just moving, leading me to wherever our final destination was. I had to break the silence before I lost my mind.

“It is what I am meant to do. Just like you, I found the light in the darkness, woke up, seeing nothing, and there, like a firefly in the moonless night, I found the light. Just as you had.” I knew what he was talking about. The lantern that had taken me to the grave sight.

“Is this hell? Purgatory?” I was still trying to figure everything out. It was all too strange, almost like a dream, no, closer to a nightmare. But at the same time, all too real to be either dream or nightmare.

“As I told you before, this is the Wake. From my understanding, and my intelligent guess, the Wake is where warriors go to be tested.”

“Tested for what?” Shepherd stopped as I asked my question, looking at me with a perturbed look. Tapping his fingers on the hilt of his sword, I could tell my questions were annoying him. But anyone in their right state of mind would have questions. So, just like anyone else in their right state of mind, I was going to ask my damn questions.

“To find out the worth your soul, your honor. There are many warriors, many who kill and die. Some, for righteous reasons, while others merely kill for the sake of themselves. The Wake tests their will. You, just like all the others before you, and even before I, have been tested. Consider yourself lucky thus far. There are many who do not find the light, and wander endlessly for all eternity till even they are gone from the memories of those who loved them.”

Picking up his step again, I asked no more questions. Shepherd said we were warriors, but looking at him, and looking at myself, my clothing, we were so different. And it didn’t help that I couldn’t remember anything. Not my name, or what I had done before waking up.

Our walking continued for what seemed like hours, the silence between us only drowned out by our footsteps. Constantly looking around, I didn’t see anything in the woods but us and the trees. And that worried me more than anything else.

Suddenly stopping, Shepherd pulled his sword from its sheath a few inches, slid his right foot forward and froze, his eyes narrowing and his head tilted slightly down, listening for something. I stopped as well, and also listening, I could hear nothing, but his sudden stance had me on edge, wondering what had shaken him and got his attention.

“What is it?” I began to say before he silenced me with a faint shhhhh.

“Stay close to me,” he said, withdrawing his sword the rest of the way from the sheath in the blink of an eye. And with that motion, the woods around us changed, the trees themselves moving. While that sounds strange, the best way to put it is, well, just imagine all the trees pulling away from us, in all directions, moving so far they couldn’t be seen anymore, leaving me and the samurai standing alone in a field. That’s what happened.

“What is going on Shepherd?” I asked, doing as he said, staying close, my eyes darting every which way, trying to see what had him so ready to fight.

“To not be frightened, and be prepared.” Turning his sword upside down in his hand, the tip now towards the ground, he leapt in the air, much higher than a normal human should have been able to jump. Coming down several feet away from where he had leapt, he dug the tip into the dirt, then quickly withdrew it, and spinning, I was surprised by what happened next.

From all around, up from the ground, what appeared to be the undead rose, but not just rose, leapt from the dirt, all landing over top the holes they had emerged from. Everyone of them was different, all men, but one woman. Now, while saying they were the undead, they weren’t the Romero undead. Atop their heads, flames burned, constantly burning, the monsters not noticing. And upon all their wrists, shackled chains, hanging roughly ten feet in length, the rattling and clinking just audible over their growls.

Looking to Shepherd, still in his spin, he cut through three of the creatures, and in my frightened state, I didn’t count how many there were, but if I had to guess, roughly fifteen, maybe twenty.  I fell to the ground, realizing that all the ghouls were looking at me, not so much worried about Shepherd and his blade.

“Stay close to me!” the samurai yelled, slicing another ghoul in half, the other monsters moving between us. One ghoul, closer to me than Shepherd swung it’s chain, the end of the weapon connecting with my face. And the moment it connected, not only did I feel the pain and sting from the blow, but a coldness unlike anything I had felt before. And a fiery burn that was worse that any fire I could have known. And worse so, in my mind flashed thoughts, images, of the same ghoul that had struck me, only, in my mind he wasn’t a ghoul. He was a man, and I was viewing his last moments.

I was chasing him, and in his hand was a gun. There were several yards between us, and it looked like I was chasing him down an alley. He turned a corner, and the seconds went by before I made the corner myself. Rounding it, I froze, the man holding a woman hostage. Lifting my own gun, he shouted to me to drop it or he was going to kill her. He just kept yelling it, walking backwards with the woman. She looked so frightened, tears rolling down her cheeks. Not dropping my gun, I pulled the trigger, the sights aimed for his head. And the bullet hit it’s mark. The man dead on the spot, the woman free.

Coming back too, the ghoul stood over me, with all the others around as well. Looking at the flaming creature above me, I could tell it had been the man in my head. But, it was only a kid, not a man. Only a kid. No more than seventeen. In the dream, he had blonde hair, glasses. But not anymore. The blonde was gone, fire instead. And the glasses weren’t needed anymore, his eyes rotted away from his skull.

“Guilt far surpasses any bodily harm. But what we will do to you tin man, will be far worse than any guilt you feel now.” The kid, or the ghoul kid spoke. His mouth never moved, instead his voice inside my head, inside my head with what was now memories, memories of his last moment. Memories of how I had killed him. I couldn’t see Shepherd anymore, not that I cared. I knew I had killed those who stood over me. And at that moment, I believed that whatever they were going to do to me. I deserved.

 

The Wake pt IV

Looking the man over, Shepherd he had called himself, I wiped the rest of the blood from my face. At first, I didn’t know what the cold, black goo was that covered my head, but after wiping it away, looking at my hands, and the massacre of the eleven creatures at the lonely grave, it was clear and evident what the cold, black goo was. Now-dead creature blood.

“I know,” Shepherd began, pulling his sword out of the still casket, a sudden jet of dark, red liquid shooting out, flying as high as ten feet into the air. “You are wondering what these are,” he said, kicking the decapitated priest creature’s head, watching it roll a few feet towards me. “And, probably wondering what that is,” looking to the slowly, ceasing jet of liquid from the casket.

Just nodding my head, I wasn’t too sure who I was talking to, but, he had saved me, I guess. He was dressed in all white, a one piece, looking like one of those samurais in the movies. Interesting thing about his all white clothing, they were all white, not a spot of black goo, or red blood. Craziest sight knowing that the carnage before me was because of his blade.

Every one of the creatures that had been tormenting me, mocking me, creepy laughing at me, looking at me with those empty eyes, now had no heads. Now those bastards weren’t laughing at me. Thinking about it, I smiled. Still looking at Shepherd, he just looked me and up before he continued, his look not one of question, or aggravation. More of a look that man gives when he is on a mission, and a mission he is determined to succeed at.

“The headless one’s, or well, now headless ones,” Shepherd continued, “those are ironically enough called the faceless ones. Demons that assume your look, only to tear it away in an act to scare you. They feed on fear, then your flesh. Finally your soul.”

“And that,” I said pointing at the casket. The jet of blood had stopped, the entire top of the casket and the ground around covered.

“Is dead.” That was all he said as he slid his sword back into it’s sheath on his left hip, walking around the tombstone, which I had finally noticed had nothing written on it. Standing in my spot, I wasn’t sure what I was to do. “Well, are you coming?” he asked me, answering my unspoken thought and question.

Without responding, I just followed, stepping over the headless corpses and corpseless heads, around the blank tombstone, and after the samurai that had saved me. Ahead of us was wooded area, the trees becoming thick, darkness hidden behind them. Not the same darkness I had awoken too, but close to it.

“Whatever we come to, do not fear it. Face it, defeat it. And I promise, I will see you through this.”

“And what is this?” I asked the samurai.

“This is The Wake. I don’t know what the Wake is. I just know it’s the Wake. So, Welcome to the Wake.” He spoke monotone, never looking at me. I was in the Wake I guess. And though I heard everything he had said, I still wondered, what the hell was The Wake?

 

The Wake pt. III

Held down on my knees by a creature, one of eleven, I couldn’t look away from the horrendous horrors. Laughing, their maws opening much further than a normal humans, but then again their mouths were much wider than a humans, the points where their lips should have met, (if only they had had lips), ending inches from their ears.

“You fear is intoxicating,” the priest spoke, its voice a raspy gargle, difficult to make the words out, but I could. “We can taste it in the air,” walking around the coffin, the priest bent down, looking me eye to eye, only, it didn’t have eyes, just those empty dark orbs. Slipping out past the rows of razor edged teeth, swirling as if it was a creature with its own mind, a tongue, black, like an eel that had been covered and covered in tar. Licking my face, the touch of the tongue was cold, the feeling sickly as it worked its way up my cheek, around my eye, then back into the mouth of the priest.

“We can taste your fear on you,” they said together, all eleven as the priest finished his free tasting of my face. I was frightened. I didn’t know what was going on, who or what these creatures were. And looking to them, each of them except the one which stood behind me, holding me, I looked to the wooden casket in front of me, which was still shaking, more violently than before, the thuds and pounding more audible than ever.

“What….” I knew what I was going to ask. The priest beat me to it.

“Are we?” Laughter. Again they all laughed, mocking me, mocking my ignorance. They were something that you would read about in a horror novel. Something out of a horror movie. But, here they were, and worst than them being there, at that lone grave, I was there with them. And then, without warning, something that worried and scared me more than the laughter, was the sudden silence that came over all of them, their laughter all ceasing, and that silence that came sent a shiver up my spine as something else was felt atop my head.

Feeling the hands holding my head loosen their grip, and watching as the priest stepped backwards, making distance between him and I, I felt a cold, heavy liquid drip onto my head, pouring down my face, making me close my eyes, my vision hindered by whatever it was that had spilt onto me.

Pushed down onto my face, I stayed there, just listening. I could hear a ruckus, a scuffle, a fight, whatever words you could think of to describe it, that is what I heard. I don’t know what was fighting, but just as fast as it had started, it was over.

“You may look now.” A voice I didn’t recognize. It wasn’t gargled, so I knew it wasn’t the creatures that had been mocking me. Looking up, wiping the liquid from my face and from over my eyes, I looked and realized it had been the blood of the creature that had been holding me, my guess made hundred proof by the fact that it’s head was next to me, not attached to the rest of the monster anymore.

Standing where the priest had been standing when I first walked up, at the head of the casket, an Asian man stood, looking to be mid thirties, long dark hair hanging just below his shoulders, a scar running down his right eye. His right hand, held the hilt of a sword, a samurai sword by my guess, the blade of that sword stabbed through the wooden casket, the non-moving, quiet wooden casket.

“Do not ask who I am,” he said as I stood. “I cannot answer you. But, you may call me Shepherd if you must call me something. Now come, there is work to be done.”

 

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