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Comedy

11 Jun UP IN SMOKE

**Rated R for explicit language and adult content**

“BITE ME! BITE ME!! BIIIITTTTEEE MEEEEE!!!” is what I have heard for the past eight months every Tuesday night between eleven and midnight. Mr. Nakamura loves Fiona because she’s the only one willing to put up with this crazy ass “pain for pleasure” thing he’s got going for himself.

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08 Jun A Rainy Day with My Silly Friend

It was a rainy day. I called to my friend, who was standing across the street. Silly friend, I thought. A driver could easily lose control in this horrid weather and run you over. Perhaps even swerving to miss could allow for the car’s rear…

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04 Jun Never Trust a Mayan

“Who do I have to blame for this?” I think this very thought every few hours. It certainly isn’t me, I’m not to blame; it’s those dastardly Mayans. They gave me a dead line and I’m never one to miss a dead line. No Sir,…

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03 Jun First Chocobo Ride

Sporting my new Sub-job, and levelling it up from Level 1 to 15 in the beginner areas,  and then levelling my Main-job to 24 from the incredinly easy-to-access Qufim Island, I was ready to go to the next area. Asking around, I found out that…

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01 Jun two psychopaths over coffee

a psychopath said to another psychopath “i think you’re weird for eating people…it’s disgusting.” the second psychopath paused for a moment. “i’m not weird for eating people.  You’re weird for cutting limbs off bodies and making sculptures out of them.”

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28 May note card story/ in the lions den…

While sleeping in the lions den, I awoke dramatically to discover my hair was on fire! As I’m freaking out trying to grab the fire extinguisher that queer politician from Jersey pops out of nowhere! “I can help you,” he said rather sweetly. But “aaaahhhhhhhhhh!”…

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23 May Clumsy Acrobat

Once there was a young man by the name of Eddie or Mr. Ed as he would prefer. Eddie was one of the craziest people you could ever meet he was young with long nappy hair and was part of the worst circus you could…

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21 May Ketchup addicted nuns

(Blaring of the television) “We now take you to a clip from last night’s conference with the President” “Because ketchup is considered one serving of vegetables these days, we can all rest assure America is leading a healthy lifestyle.” (President)

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