Forty-four minutes song (no music yet)

If there weren’t trails of evidence,

swear I wouldn’t say a word.

For forty-four minutes

she hurled her body against the door.

How do you explain what kind of crazy hurt it takes

to turn a night of sips of wine and no cigarettes

into trembling terror,

shattered bottles and empty pack of smokes?

For forty-four minutes,

she kicked the door.

I struggle with aging,

If it’s not a tooth, knees, or lung.

She promised, “I will always love you,”

her eyes full of dark confessions

For forty-four minutes,

she hammered the door.

she cut her hip nine times,

then she went home with him.

She said, “You knew I wasn’t happy.”

For forty-four minutes,

she knocked her head against the door.

There’s a lot of things you can’t know

until after it’s done.

The night the shit went down,

she smacked me so hard,

I never saw it coming.

For forty-four minutes,

she banged her fists against the door.

I cried, “No more lies, no more deceits.”

But we’re all traitors here

our own wickedest enemies.

For forty-four minutes,

she pounded the door.

No matter how sad, or mad a song,

there’s always an imp at the end,

who sighs a careless laugh,

and that mischief is me.

Does the devil always win?

For forty-four minutes,

she knocked her head against the door.

she kicked the door.

she banged her fists against the door.

she hammered the door.

she threw her body against the door.

Oh, yeah, one last remark.

I tend to destroy evidence.

She said, “You’re so OCD!”

but you can’t obliterate every memory,

I will always love her.

For forty-four minutes,

she knocked her head against the door.

she kicked the door.

she banged her fists against the door.

she hammered the door.

she threw her body against the door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Let It Break: Double-Dipped (Sample)

This is the fourth of four samples from the second publication of MyMS, Let It Break.  Now available on Amazon for Kindle and on paperback :-)

“Hmmm, I don’t know.  You just met the guy and he’s cooking you dinner?  He’s either trying to get some or he’s got the best hospitality I’ve ever heard of.  Do all Asians do that for people they meet in sex stores?”

“Stop it Franz!  You sound jealous.  Besides, he’s knows I’m taken, and it’ll be even clearer when he sees my gorgeous engagement ring, which I love by the way, almost as much as I love you.”

“Yeah right, then why are you having a date with Yo Yo Ma?”

“Franz, stop it!  You know that’s not funny…” Carrie busted out laughing.  She knew it was wrong, but she couldn’t help it.  Franz was always tickling her funny bone.

“I just don’t think you should have dinner with him, that’s all.”

“Why?  Nothing is going to happen.  It’s just a business meeting.”

“Oh yeah?  Then why can’t you meet in a public place?”

“Because I’m not going to drag my iMac to a public place.”

“You should let me get you a MacBook, than you wouldn’t have to worry about that.”

“Franz, it’s not about inconvenience.  I just don’t see the guy as a creep or anything, so I don’t mind him coming over.  He seems to have a good head on his shoulders.”

“He works at a sex store!  His head is always good, I’m sure.”

“Franz, c’mon.  You’re being judgmental.  He’s in college on his third year.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because we had what’s known as a conversation.”

“Don’t be a smartass Carrie.”

“Don’t be an asshole!”

“Don’t get all bent out of shape, I’m sorry I called you a smartass.  I’m not angry with you, I’m just worried about this guy.”

“But I’m telling you not to.  I’m a grown woman and I can handle myself Franz, you know that.”

“It’s not you, it’s him I’m worried about.  I know you can handle yourself, but this guy might try something, and then I’ll go to prison for killing him.  I’m too hot for prison you know.”

“I know, you’d get passed around like a cigarette in there,” She chuckled.

“Just cancel Carrie, it’ll make me feel better.”

“Franz, relax.  Nothing is going to happen, I promise.  I’m wearing your ring, not his.  So please, relax before I make you relax.”

“You won’t do anything you naked temptress.”  He said playfully.

“Temptress?  I’m not tempting you.”

“Oh yes you are, laying their all sexy like that.”

Just as Franz climbed into bed and began kissing her, caressing her breasts and and belly, Carrie’s Blackberry vibrated.  She stopped kissing Franz and looked down at it: it was Travis again.

“Who is it?”  Franz asked.

“No one,” Then she resumed kissing him, lightly knocking her Blackberry on the bedroom floor.

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Let It Break: Cherry On Top (Sample)

This is the third of four samples from the second publication of MyMS, Let It Break.  Now available on Amazon for Kindle and on paperback :-)

As she turned around to grab some orange juice from the fridge, Ursula heard someone walk into the kitchen.  She turned around to see Cherry dropping the beaten love glove into her bowl of cereal.

“What the fuck?” Ursula yelled at her.  She stood on the black tiled floor with a smirk on her face.

“You tell me what the fuck!  Why was that shit in my room?”

“Cuz that’s where it belonged!  Don’t leave your shit in my room, I told you before not to have your little fuck parties in my room!”

“I didn’t think you would mind, besides, I thought Carlos threw that away.  Sorry he’s such a pig, I’ll tell him to clean up after himself next time.”

“There won’t be a next time MOM, not in my room anyway.  Fuck in your own room for crying out loud.”

“I told you about calling me mom, don’t say it again girl.  The only reason I fucked Carlos in your room was because my room was dirty, not exactly a way to get the mood set, ya know?  So I decided to fuck him in your room.  That was like three nights ago, surprised you just found that. “ She giggled.

Ursula calmed down and said “Well I’m not eating a bowl of cereal with that in it, so since you ruined my breakfast can you at least make me another bowl?”

Cherry pretended like she was thinking about it, tapping her long acrylic cheetah print nails on her golden bronzed chin, turning her honey brown eyes upward, tapping her foot.  After a few seconds of playing coy, she said sarcastically, “Sure, and why don’t I wash your ass and insert your tampon too?”  With that, she exited the kitchen, her oversized butt bouncing like a fat kid on a trampoline.

Ursula got riled up again; her mouth twisted and fists clenched, she marched behind Cherry, then grabbed her shoulder and turned her around so that she was facing her.  Cherry’s waist length hair struck Ursula in her eyes, which made her angrier.  Cherry stood there frowning, and then spit in Ursula’s face.  She couldn’t believe her mom had done that!  Ursula grabbed a huge hunk of Cherry’s hair with one hand, then punched her in the face with the other.  She fell to floor, but not before she tripped Ursula, causing her to land face first on the tile.  She felt a sharp sting in her nose, and screamed.  Cherry got up and started kicking Ursula in her ribs.  She hollered every time Cherry kicked her, and Ursula tried grabbing her legs to pull her down, but didn’t succeed due to the pain in her chest, neck, and head which throbbed like a sonuvabitch.  Cherry kept screaming at her to stay down on the floor where she belonged, to remember she was just a guest in this house and that Ursula would respect her, no matter what.

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Let It Break: Penance (Sample)

This is the second of four samples from the second publication of MyMS, Let It Break.  Now available on Amazon for Kindle and on paperback :-)

†

             Delilah Greco stepped into the confession box.  Her third trimester belly plunged through the curtain.  She took her time lowering herself onto the bench, sighing once she was completely seated.  Father Whelan inhaled the bouquet of freesia and vanilla, a scent she always carried with her.  He could never forget that perfume, and the pleasure it brought with it.  It was that same scent which had overpowered the purpose of his clerical collar years ago.

            “Father, I have sinned.  It has been ten months since I last confessed. I have fornicated, murdered, and lusted.  That is all.”

            Father Whelan began to sweat.  The tone of her voice and the sound of her sins were like barbed wire tearing through his heart.  After a brief moment of silence, he spoke, trying to steady his voice.

            “Delilah, why have you come here?”

            “Because I can’t stop thinking about you and the baby we lost…I’m scared.  I don’t know if I can take care of this baby by myself.”

            “You have your mother and sister, plus I will be sending you something every chance I get.  I thought you were moving to Nevada?  I gave you fare for the plane three months ago. Where have you been staying?”

            “My mom kicked me out when she noticed I was gaining weight, and she saw the bottle of prenatal pills under my pillow.  I did go to Nevada, but only for three weeks…I missed my friends and Hailey…she’s the only one that seems happy for me.  I’ve been staying with her.  She said once I graduate from high school she might be able to get me a job at the diner with her, but that’s not for another two years.  I don’t even know if I’m gonna graduate, I’m already behind in some of my classes.  Eamon, why won’t you leave this place?  Why won’t you be with me like you promised?”

            Father Whelan felt a growing lump in his throat and began to sob.  He couldn’t believe how he had ruined this young girl’s life.  He wasn’t sure if his first plan of sending her away to Mary’s Embrace, a home for pregnant teens, would solve her problems since he was only thinking about his.  Now she had returned, making matters complicated again.

            “Delilah, I have told you that my calling keeps me here, it keeps me here for the greater good.  I cannot be a father to that child, I cannot carry on this mistake…”

            “Mistake?  Mistake!  Are you calling our children a mistake?  Eamon!”

“Please lower your voice Delilah, no one must hear-“
“Hear what?  Hear what an asshole you are?  You don’t want them to hear how you’ve been after me since my first communion?  How you made me get an abortion before I started eighth grade?  I can’t keep doing this, it’s killing me Eamon, it’s killing me.”  She cried.  They both cried together.  She for her ignorance of being in love with a man of the cloth, and he for not using better judgment, for not extending his will power enough to refuse the beauty of her innocence.  Tears of regret poured down their damp cheeks.

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Let It Break: I Heart Timi (Sample)

This is the first of four samples from the second publication of MyMS, Let It Break.  Now available on Amazon for Kindle and on paperback :-)

I headed to her room, which is twenty steps up, plus the long hallway.  I remember stopping for a moment, just long enough to feel for the ring box in my hobo bag, and to take a break from the sound of my wooden clogs, which were so loud against the granite flooring.  When I got there, I opened the door.  I should’ve knocked, but then again, I’d seen her naked many times, so did I really need to?  She jumped a bit in her rolling office chair, startled, then clicked her mouse a couple times.  The room was lit with two candles sitting on her nightstand.

She grinned wildly, then said, “Hey sweetness!  I didn’t know you were coming!  I wish you would’ve told me.” 

For some reason, I didn’t notice until she said that that she was only wearing glitter.  She must’ve sensed my discovery, because then she quickly hugged me.

After letting me go, she said, ”I just got out the shower.”

I hesitated for a moment, then asked, “Then why were you on the computer instead of getting your clothes on?”

“I was just checking my email,” she said, while looking at her computer, as if she was waiting for it to back up her statement.

“Uhhhh, okay.  I’ve never seen you wear body glitter before.  When’d you get that?”

“I’ve had it for a little while, just never used it until today.”

“Okay.  It looks good on you.  Makes you look like a Twilight vampire stripper.”

We both chuckled.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” she said, before grabbing and kissing me.  I opened my eyes, and because I was facing her bed, I saw what looked like green anal beads on her pillow.  I stopped kissing her.

“I didn’t know you got some new toys too.”

“Huh?”  She was puzzled, then looked at her bed, where I had my eyes fixed.

I heard a cough.  It didn’t come from Timi or me.  I knew it didn’t come from Toni or Dave, because it sounded so close by.  I felt flushed with fear, and the feeling in my belly reemerged, as I approached her bed, knelt down, and lifted her bed skirt.  All I saw was a dark pair of tits and an outie belly button. 

“You might as well come out and take something for that cough,” I yelled to the tits and navel.

I backed away, my arms crossed as I took a couple deep breaths.  I then watched Timi’s face go white, as the figure emerged from under her bed.

There in all her…his…it’s fucking glory, was a damn tranny.  I almost couldn’t take my eyes off the long peen and flabby balls. 

I took a look at Timi, who had tears welled up in her eyes, then split.  I slammed her room door behind me, and almost decided to stay when I walked by Toni’s room, and saw her deep throating Dave through the crack of the door.  Motherfuckers need to learn how to close and lock their damn room doors.

I cried the whole fourteen minutes it took me to get back home.  I heard my phone vibrate and ring like a million times.  I knew it was Timi, and it was confirmed when I checked and saw twenty-six missed calls and ten voicemail messages.  I was still upset, and didn’t want to hear any of them, but figured I would, just to make the little voicemail icon disappear.  They were all the same, except the first two, which explained the situation. 

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