To The Wind

 

To The WindHold me here until I fall asleep, for I’m terrified, Oh am I terrified.
Of all the uncertainties, of the un thought ofs.
I have too much time on these idle hands and I surely wish I could shake this habit.
I’m too young to imagine what it would be like if everything around me suddenly ceased to exist.
Hello, Stranger it’s been so long since I’ve seen your smiling face and now look at your son, look how far he hasn’t come. Aren’t you proud of your baby boy?
Lost in a familiar place, nothing connects in my mind. (more…)

Touch on Everything

 

Touch on EverythingNo sense of anything, still I remain sane.

Lost for words yet I speak, my future’s fortune, hopelessly bleak.

What do I say when asking God, to help His son, His bastard child.

Who do I ask in reality, when my own voodoo bites back at me.

Most importantly, while hoes contorting me, I’ll have a look.

Within myself for me, not wealth.

This is real, what you’ve been dealt.

It’ll blow you up like you’ve never felt.

Fuck the world and the world to come, that is it I’m fucking done.

The Archetype

 

The ArchetypeAshamed is the outcome, the source of the constant struggle between the ordinary and the extra.
I am the shame, the continuous blame among everything you find to be so difficult.
Only hide from the worst and only show your true colors when you feel that it is a must.
Tear down your walls and break your silence, I’ve given you the truth, and I’ve given you everything.
Blessed is he that walks among the living, for we are all marching towards our end. (more…)

Sobriety

 

SobrietyTheres none like it
just try it
i’ve learned to live
by it.

Fuck that
I’d die.

Then be sad, low,
but I know what you don’t know.
I know where to not go.
And I’ll show you
the best road.

Live against and
fuck it
without the right
substance.

For real doesn’t equate
you’ll feel your feelings run with hate.
Its kind of hard to explain
such a meaningful thing.
But
Ive been having this dream
we’ve mutual enemies
that made a man out of me and
its all I can see.
Sobriety.

I found out where my problem with commas stems. These days I do too much talking and less writing. Need to start writing more.

When, you, talk
it feels smooth as this.
Smooth as a wet scaly fish
with a tadpole friend

at, the end, of the pond.

Walk on over, rub the head.
Little bald cute as hell head,
then the valkyries sing.
And you know you’re dead.

Death, YES, YOU, TOO.
Since I drowned in that swimming pool,
you’ve been eyeing my soul.
Was worth it, though, wasn’t it?

To come back to your Mother,
wet and cold and shivering,
mud of lagoon heavy on shoulders,
and say: “I’m still alive!”

Looks on the faces
of people passing-by
so out of context and out of
rhyme,

yet priceless.

Distances

Hear me for the words I speak are of the utmost of importance.
They shatter like glass and tear my throat.
I hope they mean as much to you as they do to me.
Please just reach down and lift me up.
My eyes are turning to dark.
If I shouted these words across the way and out to you, would they ring as true?
Would you hold your arms up and run into mine?
Could it be that easy?
If everything fell into place, would you know it?
If the words strike you in the moment, would you know it?
If I held my hands up and shouted out to you, would you know me?
Would you know me?

37 Bitter, Simple, Regretful Truths.

37 BITTER, SIMPLE, regretful TRUTHS.

  1. Not hearing God’s replies to my prayers.
  2. Not believing I could be saved.
  3. Thinking that, “I run this!”
  4. Believing I could do it all on my own.
  5. Believing that all I’ve done was enough.
  6. Believing that loyalty still matters.
  7. Not realizing that it doesn’t matter.
  8. Not seeing it’s time to go.
  9. Not realizing it wasn’t me.
  10. Not realizing he was no good for me.
  11. Not realizing I’m fucking up again.
  12. Not recognizing closed-doors as pathways.
  13. Not realizing the importance of education.
  14. Second-guessing.
  15. Not 2nd. Guessing.
  16. Shutting up.
  17. Being nonchalant
  18. Being careless with another’s feelings.
  19. Not being mindful.
  20. Not feeling full..
  21. Always wanting more and getting less.
  22. Always giving and never getting.
  23. Being mad at family for doing the same.
  24. Laughing when I should have protested.
  25. Begging.
  26. Pleading.
  27. Sacrificing.
  28. Being proud and not asking for help.
  29. Not asking for a salary raise.
  30. Not asking for a promotion.
  31. Being mad at the person who did.
  32. Loving things that could not love me back.
  33. Trying and failing.
  34. Not learning the lesson.
  35. Having to learn the lesson….again.
  36. Dumb-founded as to how I ended up here.
  37. Not asking FOR IT and wonder why I don’t GET IT.

A Moment In the Life

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